The in-between-line of nature
by PetiteMissAnge
Summary: For the Winchester Bros it was just a case. For Lucy Emerson was it an opportunity to the truth. The girl who is blessed by an angel, saved by hunters and sought by the king of hell. Can be defined by a simple line. Yet, Nothing can be ever the same again.
1. Intro of the story

**The girl.**

How it happened, how long I've been here and why were the priority right now.  
For some reason I was chained to a chair tightly. The chains were cutting of my blood flow slightly and I felt the veins pulsing and trying to find the space to move properly.

My hands were cold, same as my bare feet. I gave up to the whole 'this is a dream' thing a while ago, something doesn't happen just because. There was something in store for me, however it took a long while for me to keep my head cool.  
Fear, frightened and threatened and invaded. And why ?  
I'm not that naïve, death is awaiting just around the corner. Maybe behind that huge pile of rotten wood in front of me.  
Or maybe…. It took form as a real human, heart-beating-human flesh- mortal person. Just poking around before it attacks.  
"It's low of you ! Pathetic, it isn't funny. The locals will find me." Although that is what I learned out of books, movies, series, games.  
It was just a matter of time before this person, I mean coward, would show his face. Only how this face would look, made me fear.

It seemed like hours, days, months had gone by. Yet, it also could have been barely just a few minutes, all I know was that I lived that few moments a little longer. Only backed into corner, where I couldn't protect, fight or even flight. There wasn't even a possibility to flee. Not one attempt would offer succeed. Fighting wasn't an option either, so what was I supposed to do?

Although I was afraid, I knew how to get on someone's nerves. Getting the temper high, so he/she would show their face.  
"If any bastard could show his face I would be so happy to bash it in !" I growled, yelled, did everything I could to make it sound strong and steady. While, inside I shook and shivered. Awaiting death as a girl who was slowly bleeding to death.  
I was bruised and battered, no memories of it, but it hurts.  
Maybe they left me to die out here, in an old unused space. So the fear started kicking in. I had to leave, I had to escape, maybe call for help. If someone could even hear me, that would be enough.  
"Anyone even there ?"  
"Help !"  
"I'm being held, someone call the police !" Everything echoed. Every echo was different, a reflection of how frightened I actually sounded. The screeching and cracks in my voice who bounced back and forth onto the walls filled the whole room, causing movement in the little splashes of water because of the leaking in the big roof.  
This wasn't enough, all the screaming, it just drained my energy even more. I closed my mouth and eyes, and took a deep breath.

I felt the tears coming, and there was nothing I could do against. Why should I ? I was alone, no one to see me in this state.  
In matter of fact I could kick and scream and cry all I wanted.  
My last hope was to search for humanity in someone, they might have a heart. "Please,.." I already felt disgusted that I was begging for mercy. "I don't want to be here, I don't have anything on me. I'm no value to whatever you might think I am."

A deep crispy voice answered my begging; "Hello love, glad you finally stopped. It was an utter drag to hear you yell and scream."  
My heart stopped for a second, as if I turned a switch for it. The voice was clear enough for me to confirm it wasn't an illusion.  
Yet, no sight of anything or anyone.

"Let me GO !" I screamed back at the mysterious voice.  
Something pulled my hair and breathed violently onto my neck. My head turned upwards the old and damaged roof.  
"No need to yell, no one can hear you. I don't want to waste any time." The voice whispered.  
My hair was let loose and I could turn my head quickly to look for the person behind the voice.  
Short hair, showing most of his forehead. Big curved brows, and big brown eyes. The lines around his eyes and forehead showed aging.  
But everything was covered by that goofy smile. Almost as if he was amused by torturing me, seeing me try.

"Now," He firmly clapped his hands, "I think we all know why you are here don't we ?"  
He was speaking in plural. We. How did he meant we ? I was about to find out. And it didn't took him too long.  
Out of the shadows appeared other people, mostly men. But these were different.  
They were smiling, a big smirk on their faces. Not to mention: pitch black eyes. As dark as their souls.  
I figured out myself that these people , weren't themselves. At least, not anymore.

"Right then, love." He went further, "Let us talk about this topic for a second. Oh and, don't try to fool me. Because there will be pain involved with a lot of broken bones etc. And I don't think, since your condition you are in," He casually pointed at my arm," you don't want to add anything to it, would you ? So, am I clear ?" My nod made him confirm and he continued. "Good."  
One of the men stepped forwards to him and handed a wooden box. The box was very sophisticated and it had a huge carving on it.  
The man placed it carefully in front of my feet and back away slowly to his group. It looked as if they were afraid of it.  
What could possibly frighten a man that held a girl like me captive. A wooden box ?  
I kept my eyes locked on the little box. It might include a mini bomb in it.  
"Could you explain me what this is, dear ?" He asked me. The whole group of men had their eyes on me, awaiting my response.  
"It's a wooden box." I answered, it had a tone of arrogant in it somewhere. And I saw his goofy smile disappear.  
"How smart of you. Look a bit close." He demanded. "Oh, " It looked like I caught everyone's attention with that simple gesture of sound.  
"it has the symbol of a circle. And a star right in it, it that carved ? It well done, it might've been handmade."  
I felt the tension building up, I was playing a deadly game here. But how should I know what that box represents ? Little should I know, it might hold the most valuable necklace or a piece of literature, or a bomb. I was going for the last option.

"I don't like being played with, now, what does this box do ?"  
Maybe blow up, those were my thoughts. Nothing more, my fantasy didn't reach any further than that.  
Why didn't they just open the box, it was just sealed with a lock on it. With the same carving as on top of the box. Also, it was wood, easy to break, wouldn't it ?  
I threw one leg over the other and straightened my back. "Sorry, but I don't have an IQ that high that I can do the Sherlock-thing and simply 'guess' what's in there. Neither do I have super powers as Superman, so I could beam my way through a solid wooden box to see what hides in there. The only thing that I do know is, you can cut me loose and let me go because I have not-hi-" I saw his huge hands approach me and he went straight for cutting my airways of.

"Hey! YOU SON OF A BITCH !" It wasn't me, let stand one of those men.  
A loud gunshot was fired and echoed back and forth. The whole group came in action and surrounded me.  
Because of the loud gunshot, my ears began to produce a loud monotone high-pitched sound and interrupted me to function normal.  
"Over here! Help me !" I screamed for the last time before I felt nausea and a huge headache starting. I tried to get a glimpse of who attacked the hurdle of men.  
"Stay calm, we are coming !" Another voice, this one was different than the first one.  
So two people, who I suppose were men based off of their voices, were fighting against that huge group of men. Was I supposed to feel rescued, because the statistics weren't in my favor.  
There was a huge shower of gunshots, and I couldn't see who was fighting who. It was a big pile of mess.

A man sprinted towards me and swept the chair, with me on it, off the ground. And my head reached the floor first.  
Everything became dull and slow, I was seeing double, and I was almost certain that I had an concussion.

The first unknown voice shouted; "Damn it Cas where ARE you ?!"  
And not even two seconds later, a huge bright light filled up the room, causing some of the men screaming in pain. I saw a couple of the flee and a hand reached towards my face.  
My sight was blurred and I could not figure out who it was. It felt familiar, safe.

"Dean !" I heard the other unknown voice yel. A gun was fired again, and everything for me went black.


	2. May God forbid

**May God forbid.**

"You were right about the whole captivity situation, Cas. Now tell me, why are we in the friggin' hospital while you could just heal that girl."  
"Dean, I meant no bodily harm to either one of you. But this girl has a family."  
"I figured myself. How did you know her ?"  
"She prayed,…. rather begged. It's my purpose Dean, I'm an angel of the lord."  
"Then you can heal her. Or is the mojo gone now ?"  
"That isn't funny, let him alone. He has led us to someone who had to be saved. And that's our purpose, saving people hu-"  
"Hunting things, yeah I'm aware of that."  
"Besides, Cas is right. She has a family, and I understand that her identity is unknown. We can't just heal her and drop the girl somewhere where she is safe."

I wasn't sure if these people who attacked the hurdle were the nice guys, the heroes of the day. Neither I was with the feeling of security, let alone stand  
my location.  
My eyes were heavy and my head felt as if it was pumped with fluids. I couldn't be too careful with opening my eyes.  
The chance that I was still chained to that chair in that warehouse was possible, although I felt warmer. Drugged, that might be it.  
I slightly opened my eyes, and took a good look around, I was in a hospital no doubt about that unless they recreated a whole set, I had a few strings attached to my arm that led to a sound-making monitor. It rated my heart, and right now it sounded stable.  
My arm was covered in bandages, and it didn't look professionally enough.  
I lifted the sheets up and investigated my own body. They've changed my clothes and I looked pretty bruised, other than that I'm not missing any limbs or such as.  
"No worries, we haven't changed your clothes." A soft voice spoke to me as I searched for the face that was connected to it. The one that assured me that I was going to be rescued.  
I sat myself up and tried to scan the bodies who stood in the poorly hospital room.  
The soft sounding voice was connected to a tall man with mid-lengthy brown hair he wore an old looking crème coat with outworn jeans and dark coal boots. There was also another guy, maybe the one who yelled and shot first to kill. Not me though, he shot the ones who've kept me alive to torture me with these vague questions about a stupid little wooden box. He sat down with something that looked like pie. It didn't concern me that these men who I now identified as truckers from somewhere far, put me in this hospital. Until I saw this man standing behind the bed. About 6.0 feet, deep blue eyes and a look of sorrow on his face. The thing I found incredibly remarkable was that they all looked fine. Even great, no scratches, bruises. Not even a sign of violence.

I know that they weren't here for emotional or moral support. I was expecting a full-on investigation by those truckers and him.  
It has been a while since I saw Castiel, the best I could phrase it was : he flew of years ago. And never came back.  
A tragic story wasn't going to come out of my mouth, I don't like the whole therapeutic subject .It hasn't been my thing, and trusting those truckers sure as hell isn't happening. The only subject I was going to get my hands on is what happened. So, answers were about to be questioned.

"Is there any chance that I could get some answers out of you ?" I asked the mid-long brown haired man.  
"Shoot." Interjected the other one with his mouth stuffed.  
I couldn't place it, the facial features where different so were the postures they represented towards me. The giant looked kind, but a bit too pitiful for me he looked at me as if I was a wounded animal and he was the perpetrator.  
The other one was a whole other story. He looked annoyed by my presence, maybe even disappointed by my appearance . Almost even waiting to use that last bullet in his rifle to shoot me before I would start asking questions about those 'men'. I better watch my mouth before I would start babbling along, giving away too much. I want to avoid that hole in my head a little while longer. I don't know how good that man can contain himself, and I wasn't going to discover. Once I knew the questions I could press a button and people will back me up because I'm seen as a patient, although I would rather jump out of this bed and go back home. Just forget about what happened. The chance that that dream would come true is small, my family would ask where I've been since I don't even know how long I've been kept there. Then therapeutics will ask me questions, then the police will get involved and I'm sure about it that if I would tell them the truth I will be put in an asylum, I could just wave goodbye to a silent peaceful life.  
"What happened ?" I asked. Who was going to answer was a mystery to me since no one reacted. Finally someone did take the initiative and spoke.  
"What do you remember ?" The man with his pie asked me back.  
"Oh, common, don't do that. I'm getting drugs fed through a pipe right in my arm." I said annoyed.  
Castiel started stating my health. "The man in his blue suit said that you have a slight concussion."  
"Ok, but a little help to remind me of what happened wouldn't do me any harm." Both truckers looked each other in the eye, I was getting these weird vibes. What were they plotting ? May or may not be deciding whether or not I do deserve that bullet. Like they did in that show on TV, where the agent joins a gang, he finds something out he better not have found and ends up on the side road with a hand pocketknife in his chest.  
"I don't know if this clarifies anything but, this guy named Crowley held you hostage for a few days. How long we don't know exactly, you were in a bad situation there." I knew the name, it felt known, so I just swung it at them.  
"Crowley, the king of hell ?" Shockingly I had it right, the same for those truckers. They were a lot more focused now, even more tensed up.  
"From whe-" Asked the other guy with his mouth full. "Books." I answered rapidly. Books were always the best to rely on, it is maybe where I got it from.  
"That man, Crowley, kept asking questions with no lead in sight, and if I answered it wrong or they would suspect I was lying, he would slaughter me in a snap. Of course, with the help of these people." I was still recovering from the shock that the huge commotion cost me, and speaking about it made me shiver.  
"I-we are sorry if this is scary, we didn't meant to do that. We are here to figure out why you are so important that you were took by him, but we can take it easy. What do you want to start with ?" He sounded so polite and calm, as if he just was a visitor without knowing the story, just here as a friend. The 20 question game wasn't my thing, but I had to maintain my control over the conversation. And this could help me to collect some parts of the truth.  
"Maybe if 'we' can give their names, it would be a good starter."  
"Ladies first." The man interjected. "My name is Lucy, Lucy Emerson." "Great meeting you, even in this ah-sit-, my name is S-"  
Something in my brain just snapped, a crack in a wall where I could see through.  
"The brothers Winchester; Sam, Dean. Born hunters, raised hunters, current job; hunters. Hunt together with Castiel." I threw Castiel in there for casualty.  
It wasn't my intention to spurt it out, I thought I was summing it up in my mind. Both men looked quite shocked about that.  
So shocked that Dean let his pie aside and walked some steps towards me.  
"Why do you know our names ?"  
"A little bird, that's all I can say." Was that the best thing to answer back to this unstable man ? Maybe not.  
"That you know my name and my brother's is rare enough, but Cas. You sure ain't something normal."  
"Well," I started, "I'm not a demon because you already sprayed me. I can tell from my hair, it wasn't wet before. Also the silver knife slit on my shoulder isn't the case. And what else is there ? Any more tricks you've got up your sleeve ?"  
"Oh I got a lot more, Sherlock." The conversation between me and him was over, I wasn't going to respond anymore. So instead of me he searched for answers on Castiel.  
"What's the deal with her ?"  
"I don't have any Deal with Lucy, Dean." He answered stiffly. "That's not what I meant, I don't like the toddler who claims to know everything about our damn lives!"  
"Dean, she's not a toddler, and she does not claim anything. Knowledge of a-"  
"How old are you anyway, 15 ?" He threw at me. "I'm nineteen years old. Thanks for getting it slightly wrong."  
Sam was silent the whole conversation but with that comment I saw him smirk a bit. Even Dean noticed the joy in his eyes and reacted back at him with a mad look. I searched for something to drink, but there only stood an empty glass on the nightstand.  
Castiel still stood there as stiff as can be, but he sounded worried. "Dean, can we continue this conversation without interruption."  
"Fine, but outside, I don't want this midget-Holmes to overhear our conversation. But I'm not done with you." He abruptly pointed his finger accusingly towards me. "I'm far from done with you." I mumbled, hoping he didn't hear my last words. Sam sure did since he had to contain a serious look, although it cost a lot of muscles. He was amused that I fought back. A final look at me, and then the door was closed. And Sam was let alone with the crazy girl in a hospital bed.

"Do you need something to drink ?" He asked me. I wasn't going to attack him by answering something sarcastic, he didn't deserve it because he wasn't treating me like a child. But he still had that look on his face which was concerning and pity. However, his low voice, yet soft sounding brought something up to me. Sam picked up the empty glass on the nightstand and filled it with cold water from the minibar that was placed right next to the monitor.

"There you go." He offered the glass to me with stability and carefulness. Being scared that I would drop it if I didn't have hard enough grip on it.  
Setting himself down on the chair where his brother sat and taking a big chunk of the what-looked-like-pie he took a deep breath.  
"So, Lucy, how are you feeling ?" I saw his eyes getting wider, almost puppy-like.  
The last time I saw that gaze was when my brother wanted a videogame so bad, but wasn't allowed to buy it from my mom, just because the age limit was 16. He was 13 at that time. I knew he was well aware that videogames weren't real life and you couldn't just bust out a man/woman out of a car and hop in it and shoot one or two people on the road just for fun.  
He got the game. But not from mom, but me. As a kind of peace offer, for all the toddle telling he had left aside when I asked not to tell.  
My brother is a part of me, and I am for him the same thing. He gets in trouble, I'll help him no matter what. Even if he gets accused of freaking murder, I will fight for the freedom of my blood brother.

"I'm feeling like crap." Honestly, I did. "On a scale." I wasn't sure anymore if he was stable mentally, why on earth would you ask to set your pain on a scale. "One to ten: a seven and a half. The meds are aren't helping a lot, but it might not have taken effect yet since I'm not long here, or am I ?"  
"Hmm-No just an hour, but by then it would begin to work." I took a sip of the cold water and refreshed my sore throat.  
We could hear Castiel and dean arguing. I wouldn't say talking, because the decibels where higher than a mundane conversation.  
Knowing well enough about what the subject was, my heart rate went up. It began beeping faster and it worried Sam.  
"Are you oke ?" "Just fine, nothing to worry about."  
The dull sound became clearer and I was waiting for the moment it would became clear for Dean. To understand where I stood, and how I knew these things. I had to say, it frightened me. No one ever knew this except a small circle of people. 2 to be exact, so not even a circle, more like 2 dots.  
"What would they be talking about." Sam interjected. It was more a question to himself, but I knew the answer. So why hide ?  
"Sam, you wonder where the line between the natural and the supernatural exists ?" I drew 1 horizontal line on the sheet of the hospital.  
"The is this one," I pointed on the right side of the line," which contains the natural. And then there is the other one, the supernatural side of life and further. But what is in the middle Sam, what does the line contain ?" I saw him slowly figuring out what I was trying to explain, yet he wasn't there fully.

We both heard a loud sound that was made by a body getting slammed against the wall. My heart went faster and faster.  
The monitor wasn't handling these sudden rates and alarmed a second beep. I heard Dean yelling, it was loud enough to even hear 6 room further, and those halls would reproduce the sound even further. Sam stood up, while I just locked my eyes onto his and responded to his suspicion;  
"I think the 20 question game went up to +100 questions on both sides .And I'm sure it isn't going to be 7 minutes in heaven."

_**Author's note: **__**Thank you for reading the second part of my story. I hope that this story entertains most of you. Grateful, that's what I am. However, eager to know if you liked the parts so far, and what I could improve. Have an opinion good/ bad (which is always good, since I can position myself on my 'skills'). Don't mind giving them, I would love to hear any reviews. Have a good day/night further.**_


	3. The in-between-line of nature

_**Chapter 2: The in-between-line of nature.**_

_Sam's point of view: _

__Why was Dean so worked up about this girl ? She knows our name, fine, but that is no good excuse to get mad about. Especially against her, Lucy was just saved by us. A lot of things are going through her mind and I bet she wants to find out as needy as us.  
Maybe she wanted to know why she got beaten up, interrogated and held captive against her will. I'm glad she is still alive and that Crowley didn't simply snapped a finger to snap her neck.  
The only thing seeming to trouble that girl was far away, something deeper, although those wounds looked deep enough to care about.  
I don't even think those meds work properly yet. Yet, she sat there calmly, in a way. As if everything was fine for her, nothing happened, nothing special really. But it did, she got attacked by the king of hell, heard by an angel of the lord and saved by hunters.  
Not so many people can recall such events.

Her eyes told a different story though. Those big blue eyes were filled with pain, alone, lost… it was weird to see someone suffer inside more than on the outside.  
The fact that I've been there too made me understand her, made me respect the way she treated Dean.  
The thing I thing I couldn't place in a good order was why she looked at Castiel that way, and how she reacted with all the info she got from us.  
She suffers from a concussion, and she can still joke and act bold toward Dean. I must say that it was amusing to see those two fight.  
They barely knew each other and tried to battle continually for being the best at something that came up.  
There burned a fire inside that girl, which is a good thing. But if this fire was for eternity was questionable. One way or another something has to break. It sounded harsh and it was. Being involved with all of this doesn't mean good news, and I bet she knew it as well.

The longer I tended to gawk in a non-obvious way, the more she reminded me of someone. Those bags around her eyes of exhaustion, those river deep blue eyes burning as bright as a candle light. Her hair perfectly supporting on her weak, bruised shoulders caressing the fragile skin and brushing against her cheeks. Curls dancing whenever she moved or turned her head sideways to check her heart rate.  
And that fierce look to protect herself around threats. Never let your guard down, be a man and face someone without showing weakness.  
That's what dad always told me.

"I'm not a typical irritating girl, just so you know." She said when I handed a glass of cold water. It sounded like she wanted a confirmation.  
"There." I said while making sure she had a firm grip on the glass, and sat myself down in the uncomfortable seat. "You aren't being one, I get it. My brother can look and sound intimidating." I was even actually gad someone putted some pressure on Dean.

I couldn't focus anymore on her heart rate or the sound that those terrible tubes made whenever Lucy inhaled and exhaled through the ones connected in her nose. The dominant sounds were Dean and Cas arguing. They did it more frequently, it started when Castiel noticed Lucy her prayers and went on, on the road while I was keeping the poor girl awake. It bothered me, but also seemed to bother Lucy.  
Her heart rate made a jump and kept on running faster and faster. So I asked for clarity.  
I listened carefully to her explanation but it didn't make sense at all. A line between the natural and supernatural and that the line could have value and there was more in that line, that it wasn't just a separation between both creatures roaming on earth and beyond.

Dean stormed through the door showing full rage and confusion and was followed by the sternness of Castiel.  
The look Dean was giving wasn't good, I knew, Castiel knew. Hell, even Lucy saw that he was about to blow and make a possible tantrum in the middle of this patient room. He went full on for the girl's shoulders and shook her uncontrollably. Castiel reacted immediately, yet kept his distance. "Dean, could you retreat your hand from Lucy. She hasn't do-"  
"Shut up Cas, Sam" He demanded. "grab the salt, silver knife and holy water."  
"Dean, You're not thinking straight" I responded. "Yeah, you kind of did that already." Lucy added.  
But none of my contrariness would stop Dean, he always had an alternative, so if I wasn't going to help him he would do it himself.  
And he did, pushing the point of the knife into her skin, a quick and neat slit on her cheek. Lucy didn't even flinch at the slightest .  
"Oh that's a shame. But hey third time's a charm." Lucy said. She was pulling his strings harder and harder. I had to take action by grabbing Dean's knife out of his reach and pushing him aside from her. "Calm the fuck down Dean. What is going on ?"  
"Sam, please take her away from here." Castiel still stood there awkwardly stiff. I didn't want to take any risks so I lifted the fragile body up and guided her with all the connected tubes toward the bathroom, at least no one could come in there toward the bathroom, at least no one could come in there. "Okay, this is just to hold that brother of mine out of your reach. Are you going to be okay ?"  
She looked at me with a slight smile. It was amusing and intriguing how she saw 'fun' in all of this. I placed my thumb on the wound and wiped away the trace of blood. "I'm fine, stop asking. If I can handle the king, why not a hunter ?"  
"Hunters are a lot tougher than you think." I laughed. "But in all seriousness, stay here unti-" "Yeah I get it. Don't forget to close the door when you leave."

As I shut the door I heard Dean falling in his chair, he was frustrated eating his pie once again. "I hate hospitals. These chairs are uncomfortable as hell. I can assure you that." "As if we didn't saw it coming, Crowley wanted her. Something was going to go wrong."

"So do we kill HER ?" "Sam, Dean stop arguing this discussion is going nowhere." Castiel interjected, sounding more confidant.  
"You don't have any input in this Castiel, or well, you actually do. You couldn't confirm us sooner about Lucy. She shares frigging DNA.  
Like blood Cas, she IS related and you left het. That's a discussion we are going to talk about. Right. Now."


	4. Knock, knock

"_**Knock knock"**_

I brushed my teeth and cleaned my face, just to kill some time while they were bickering like little children.  
I still felt the nerves, and I knew what was coming.  
I tried to climb out of a window above the toilet. But that wasn't a good idea.  
So I sat myself down with my back facing the door. I listened quietly to follow their conversation.

I was glad that Sam took that knife away, because Dean would actually have done that.  
I felt an uncontrollable rage coming up. There we have the mood swings again.  
One second I feel like crying my eyes out, the other raging and wanting to punch everything in sight , and then the other second nothing. A deep hole of nothing.  
I don't know if this emotion exists. Just nothing, I don't care what would happen at that particular moment. I would just stand there.

Also the fact that I can't communicate with a single life form makes me even realize more that I'm different.  
I just don't connect that well other than my family and one friend.  
It is like I don't know what to say at a particular moment. I don't know how to act around people.  
But I guess this is just a typical problem with every girl/boy? I don't know.

I still felt Dean's hands burning on my shoulders. And I felt Sam's arm that pulled me up.  
These guys have a strange vibe around them. Maybe it is a hunters thing.

-daughter get kidnapped for days and not helping her. You left her to die out there Cas ! That is a discussion we are going to talk about right now."

I slightly opened the door to see them. They all sat down, except Sam.  
Looking at Dean made me confirm the fact that he was still mad.  
"You have to be kidding me right know. Castiel you left that girl alone?" Said Sam, I saw his hand forming fists.  
My rage took over every emotion and muscle in my body.  
I stood up and opened the door.  
"Wow, really, that girl. I kind of have a name."  
"I should shut your mouth if you want to step out of this hospital alive." Dean tried to control me.  
But that did not help my rage at all.  
I was so close to Dean that I could smell his pie-breath.  
"Make me."  
His face turned a bright red. I was getting amused.  
"Lucy that is enough." Castiel looked at me waiting for me to back off.  
So I crawled back into the bed and covered my legs.  
I actually felt ashamed, and my cheeks burned. The rage was gone in a flash.  
Castiel sat next to me on my bed and putted his hand on my knee.  
"Sam, Dean this is my daughter Lucy."  
Both of the brothers stared at me, as if I was some sort of rare species.  
"Is that even possible ?" Asked Sam.

Hello, I'm the living proof.

"Sam, if those demons can make a demon's child. I think it is possible to make a freaking midget angel's child. Cas fucked a mortal woman."  
This raging smurf was smarter than I thought.  
Sam looked confused, not knowing how to began to search in this little old book. He kept switching pages.  
"Dean, the intercourse I had was 18 years ago."  
"But that does not change the fact that you have a daughter."  
I wrapped my arms around my knees and supported my head on it.  
"And I would suggest to keep those vulgar words that humans use to express their emotions down."  
In his eyes I was still this little breakable girl. Yet, he left me to die in that warehouse. What kind of father would do that?

No father would.

Dean pressed his fingers in his forehead.  
"Ok,I just don't understand why you left that gi-" I looked at Deans eyes, "Lucy alone in this town without any weapon or something to protect herself."  
"It is a lot more complicated, Dean. I can't just contact my daughter every time I want to."  
Sam kept searching something in that book. Doesn't he believe it ?  
"I'm not the one that has experienced real fatherhood in my life. But I know damn well that this is wrong Cas."  
Ending that sentence made me realize that this was not about me. And I saw it in Castiel's eyes.  
Being someone's angel means that you have a bond with each other. Like a sort of supernatural glue.  
You are both responsible for each other.  
I realized that this bond was really strong, how they looked at each other was something I've never experienced before.  
Sam stopped at a certain page and looked at me.  
He hesitated for a second but finally figured it out.  
I felt naked when they looked at me like that. It was unpleasant to be exanimated like that. But that is probably because no one ever knew this.

Castiel felt the unease and I saw him spread his wings. He looked at me before he flew away.  
"Dammit Cas !" But it was too late, he disappeared already.  
It's sort of a habit of him I guess. When the air gets to thin, he escapes from it.

There I was, left alone again with these hunters.  
"Maybe you should try to rest for a bit Lucy. He might return soon." Sam closed the curtains and sat down with his laptop on his legs.  
As if that was the case I would have seen him a lot more in my life. It would take a while before he would show up. And Dean knew it as much as I do.


	5. RESPECT

_**R.E.S.P.E.C.T  
**_

There I sat again in the chair. The sweat dripped of my chin and nose.  
In front of me was a big mirror. I saw my own reflection.  
From what I was seeing looked like a stickman. My skin looked a transparent yellow.  
This isn't me, it can't be…  
Behind the mirror stood a man. I did not recognized him from anywhere. It was a man with old, classic clothes on. He sneaked up on me and smiled when he looked at the mirror.  
I took a closer look and my little brother and mother were projected on it.

I saw my skin heal. My mom and brother looked at me happily. Everything seemed fine. Weird ,but fine.  
Merely my focus was on that man. A man that was not included in my family. I noticed his eyes, they were glowing.  
He winked back at me and pointed at the mirror.  
So my instincts told me to take a look. They were still smiling at me. However, the smile turned into a frown. Tears rolled from their eyes, and the tears soon turned into blood.  
My brother dropped down on the floor. Dead.  
The murderer wasn't that guy, neither my mother. It was me.

I almost jumped out of the bed because I was that astonished.  
I was wet and icky and needed some refreshment. It was really dark, I based the room of off the light that the monitors gave me.  
With my arm and hand I tried to navigate where I was going to walk against. But I forgot my toes.  
I stumbled my toe against the leg of the hospital bed and freaked out. I held my hand against my mouth to prevent the scream that wanted to burst out.  
I'm such a clumsy person.

Sam yawned and groaned. Shit, I crawled back into my bed, and tried to 'fake' sleep.  
"Lucy ?" Nope, she is sleeping right now. Not awake, sleeping, thank you very much.  
I've got to say, a guy that just woke up sounded heavenly.  
I was just enjoying his voice, while I was 'sleeping' . And my arm started to burn, as if my arm caught on fire.  
I screeched at the attack on my arm. What medicine did they gave me?! It is just getting worse.  
And there I ruined my cover.  
"I knew you were awake."  
"oh, uh no no n-" I sighed, I fail at life. Again, a shooting pain made me make inhuman sounds.  
Imagine a whale and a dying rat at the same time sang the symphony of a classic piece from Mozart.  
Fancy.

Sam straightened his back and combed his hair with his hands.  
"Do I have to call a nurse ?"  
"No, it is not that bad."  
He closed his book and stared at me for a good 10 seconds. I felt the unease coming again.  
"How does it feel to be an half angel, half human?"  
"Normal I guess." What was I supposed to answer. I lived my life as an awkward child wandering around town waiting for my dad to appear and disappear once in a long while.  
I was the only one in my family that got projected as a mistake. I was the black sheep.  
So the word normal was slightly wrong.  
"Lucy, which angel names his daughter like that."  
"I know it sounds like the short ,girl version of Lucifer."  
"You read my mind. Wait, can you ?"  
"I'm half human half angel, not a witch. Can you ?"

Dean walked into our conversation with a big paper bag.  
He opened one beer and threw the other one in the air.  
Sam focused right on time, and managed to catch it. He also brought some fast-food.  
That guy ate a slice of cake 3 hours ago, and already needs a burger ?  
"Anything new ?"  
"The good news is: I've found us some burgers…"  
Sam and I waited for the bad news.  
He looked at his burger as if it was some treasure. He took a way too big bite out of it and looked at us.  
"What?" It wasn't easy to figure out what he was saying with his mouth full.  
Sam gave up, and opened his wrapped burger. Before he wanted to bite into it, he offered me a piece. As thoughtful as it could have been, I ignored the offer and looked away.  
I still don't trust both of them.

"So how are we going to plan all of this ? Waiting for Castiel to come back ? Or are you trying to kill her again ?"  
"Hey!," Dean made sure that his mouth was empty before he tried to defend himself .  
It took a while. How could guys possibly stuff so much food in their mouth and enjoy their meal ?  
Such a pig.  
"That girl needs to learn some respect towards hunters like us." Pointing with is burger at me did not make him anything more superior.  
"I saved your sorry-ass in that warehouse. I saved your life but I could end it as well."  
He was right about that, am I this ignorant?  
"Thank you for saving my sorry-ass back there." He deserved that.  
"No problem."


	6. You better run

_**You better run.**_

Dean threw a pack of clothes on the bed with a smile on his face. "Wear it."  
The clothes were full of wrinkles and were 3 sizes too big.  
"I've came up with a fantastic plan. Listen up."  
I took the shirt wore it over my actual clothes, I tucked in the excess in the shorts and made a messy bun of my hair to wear a hat over it.  
I think I had the idea that we were about to escape the hospital.  
"We are going to escape this place, it is full of demons. And I don't want to risk anything, so we are going to take the easy way out. Front door at the main hall from our left."  
Both grabbed their guns and hided them in their pants under their coats.

"Wait." I said as quickly as I could. I pointed at the monitor. "This is going to set an alarm when I take it off. And I'm sure that there will be people in no time."  
Dean picked without a warning my glass of water up and poured it on the machine. Smoke escaped and the lights went out.  
"Piece of cake, let's go."  
Before I left the room, I picked up the fork from the plate. Just in case I have to defend myself against those demons.

Main hall from our left. We took a sharp turn to the right and I was pushed behind them.  
Their hands laid on the holster of the guns. "What's going on ?"  
Sam turned his head. "Someone has been following us."  
That's not true ? We were out here for a minute, it is impossible that one of those could have found us already. But I was wrong, not short after a doctor turned and Dean grabbed him.  
He held a knife against his throat. Was he out of his mind again ? That's a doctor.  
Again. I was wrong.  
He began to laugh and elbowed Dean right against his nose.  
Sam came into action and shot right between his eyes. These guys surely know what they are doing.

"Hide, this is not the only motherfucker around here. They will appear soon enough."  
I hid myself under the desk in the reception.  
This would probably be the most obvious place to hide, but I could not find anything else that was proper enough.

The situation was bad, real bad. I peeked above the desk to see what was happening and right before me landed Sam on his back. His nose was bleeding and he had a scratch above his brow bone.  
"New plans ?" I screamed.  
"Run we will catch up in a minute." Both guys looked confident about themselves.  
They're either brave or unbelievably stupid.  
I ran as fast as I could to the nearest exit. And searched for a car, the black Impala.

I sat myself down and looked at the clock. 2 minutes past, and no sign from either of the brothers.  
I saw a women coming closer, so I locked the car.  
She knocked against the window and her black eyes appeared.  
She kept banging on the windows. I kept myself calm and called for Castiel.  
'_Castiel I need you, the brothers need you. If you are a real protector and father you would appear, please show your face!'  
_One of the windows shattered in pieces.  
"That is my car !" A single shot, and the women fell down on her knees.  
"Are you alright ?" Asked Dean. I opened my mouth to say something but he ran straight towards the car and hugged it. "It's ok. You are fine now."  
That shows his love life in a nutshell.


	7. Dead or alive

_**Dead or alive.**_

"Make yourself comfortable we will be riding for another good hour."  
The radio played some rock music. I could not resist it and started to nod with my head along with the ritme .  
The refrain began and I had the urge to sing alone. "I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride. I'm wanted ,dead or alive."  
Dean helped the ritme with some drumming on his steering wheel. The ambience got so good that we all screamed our longs out with the refrains.  
I began to laugh, and supported my head against the closed window and shut my eyes.

"Hey, sleeping beauty, time to wake up before some random people jump on us again." He snapped with his fingers right in my face, I slapped them away.  
I got out of the car and grabbed a random bag. Looking around made me cringe.  
Upstairs I dropped them on a double bed. This was the most awful motel I have ever seen.  
"Are we resting here for the night, so that I would come home fully rested ?" Sam turned on the TV and switched to a movie about Texas rangers. It was not my taste, but I observed the shooting scene.  
It was sloppy and there were bad effects involved. But the rangers could shoot in a straight line on their target.  
"I'm going to take a shower." Said Sam while he turned it on. He closed the door and began to hum a song.

"Dean, I'm sorry if I was unrespect full. I just don't know how to react after-"  
"No need to apologize. I get it. I can be hotheaded like that to." He sure can. Forcing and cutting my arm.  
Thinking about my arm made me wonder. I stared at it. Still covered in bandages. But this wasn't done by a professional. Would it be bad if I took it of ?  
I tried to find the beginning or the end of it.  
"Not a smart move." Said Dean. I stopped searching and sat myself down on the bed.  
Dean looked at the TV, switching channels made me nauseous, so I picked up my phone and typed in the pin-code.  
2406.  
One message. My brother: 'Where the fuck are you ? Mom is getting scared that something might have happened to you. She says that if you don't return tomorrow night, she will call the police. Are you in trouble ?'  
Cops means attention, attention means more demons. Even my family could get in danger when she would alert me as missing.  
Message. Select. Answer back.  
'David couldn't you maybe tell her that I'm at my friend's house. I'm just fine, spending the night there to figure some things out a-.' I stopped typing when I saw Dean in front of me with his disapproving face.  
"What are you doing ? You know that communication is dangerous when demons are searching for your ass. Hand it over." I locked my phone and gave it to Dean.  
He dropped it in the side pocket of his jacket. He banged on the door where Sam was showering.  
"You almost done in there ?! You don't need to spend half an hour washing your hair, baldy."  
Sam opened the door with just a towel around his waist.  
"Very funny." He was still soaking wet and steam floated around his body. "My turn." Dean jumped in the shower .

He rubbed the water of his face and looked me straight in the eyes. "Do you mind turning around ?"  
"O-oh ? Oh !" My face turned pure red. Shutting my eyes and laughing made me look extreme immature.  
I felt like crying and laughing at the same time, just because there was a half-naked hunter in the same room as I was. What kind of emotion is that ?

"Don't panic, I have to pick up my shirt that lies beside you." I felt the bed sinking on one side.  
I heard him breathing in and forced myself not to look.  
2 till 3 minutes later I opened my eyes. He stood there with his jeans on ,sitting on a chair to prevent falling over while putting his socks on.  
"Is that tattoo there for protection ?" I asked while squeezing my eyes.  
"Yeah, Dean has the same one."  
"From what does it protect you both ?"  
"Demons, preventing them to take over our bodies. We had to much cases where that happened."  
"Quite smart of you both."  
He covered his upper body with a clean shirt and picked up his laptop.  
He looked offended by this question and tried to avoid the explanation.  
"You know," He said while starting up his computer," it is creepy that you know all this information about us, when we never met you before."  
I turned my head sideways. I made myself look like a stalker with asking these questions.  
"I guess that Castiel is sort of in my head, and I'm in his. Like a sort of wifi. He knows when I did something bad. And I know what he does, thinks or feels."  
"Bad. Like what ?"  
"Bad in like: Painting the police office with these spray cans I saw lying around a couple of years ago."  
He started laughing. "Sounds like typical teen problems."  
He looked down at the floor.  
"Do you need anything in particular ?"  
"No, sleeping with these clothes is good enough. Just one question." Dean came in fully clothed and dry.  
"Who is going to sleep in the double bed and who in the single one ?"


	8. Waving goodbye

_**Waving goodbye.  
**_

I was woken up by the vibrating of my cellphone. I saw Sam and Dean lying in the double bed.  
Sam had one arm stretched over the bed, where Dean laid his head on.  
I searched between the stack of clothes and finally found my phone.I sneaked out of the room and managed to get on the roof.  
"Hello ?"  
"It's me, where are you ? Mom is worried as fuck ! Have you been sleeping at you friend's house ?"  
He knows me to well. "You could say that."  
"Lucy, what is happening are you hurt or something ?"  
I wanted to answer but something blocked my airways.  
"It is rude to leave my party so soon, love." I tried to grab his arms and my phone fell from the roof all the way down.  
"Don't worry I will make it a painful and slow death." His grip became tighter and my head felt lighter. I'm going to die right here. Trying to scratch his arms open made him enjoy this even more.  
"Good, fight against it. That's way more fun for me."  
I kicked my knee against his stomach. Once. Twice. Three times,  
but he did not move a single bit.  
I closed my eyes and focused on one thing. Castiel.I felt that the end was near. My body was shutting down.I pushed my hand against his face.  
A glow made his face burn. He loosened up for a second, and I took my chance. I pushed him of the roof. I controlled my breath and looked down.  
No sign of Crowley.  
Was that glowing my work ?  
I hurried myself back in the room. I was save here.

-.

I rubbed against my neck. I searched for the familiar texture of my necklace. I took a deep breath and rolled out of bed.  
With some energy I managed to get in the bathroom. A cold splash of water was the best remedy for tiredness.  
4 hours of sleep. That was the longest one so far this month. I stared at my reflection.  
Maybe a splash more, I looked like shit.  
Better.  
I turned myself around and he scared the living hell out of me. "Dammit Cas! How many times have I said tha-"  
"We have no time to speak about rules and the human privacy. Time is ticking. "  
I was glad and relieved to see him again. But the anger took over.  
"What were you even thinking ?! Flying of like that !"  
"Could you keep your voice down. I want to speak to you about Lucy." He looked devastated.  
His eyes were filled with emotions, and I could feel his pain. This topic didn't seem to be easy for Cas.  
Like hell it would. He has a child where Crowley wants something from. Life, powers, blood… You can name it, he will get it. No matter what.  
"Just explain."  
I closed the bathroom door. Both were still sleeping save and sound.  
"I made the conclusion to disconnect her from her family. It is the only way to make this work.  
Her time is running out. And attaching any loved ones will make it even more risky to fulfill the job. This will lead to emotional scarring but she will make it through."  
I couldn't agree on this.  
"She has to say goodbye to everyone she knows ?"  
"No, that would not be successful. She has to die."  
"Did they mess with your head up there Cas ? Because you are saying that your daughter has to be killed."  
"Dean. I mean that we have to act like she died. A car accident would be perfect. On the other hand, killed by a serial killer is the ultimate excuse to say that the body isn't in this city and has to be isolated from their presence. I will be the one to bring over the message towards Nadine and David."  
I felt something empty. "Nadine ? Is that the women you had Lucy with ?"  
"Yes, I wasn't the best angel at that time." You could say that the least.  
"Cas you have to talk to your daughter. I've never had a father that could spend time with me because of this job. But you can, and I don't want to see a kid grow up in the same situation like I did."  
I hope he listens to me. I've got a shit ton of problems just because I had to grow up too fast.  
Caring about my little brother, hoping my dad would return soon from his job. It all screwed me over.  
This girl still has hope.

If we get her out of this mess.


	9. Vanish

_**Vanish.**_

How a father could ask this to her daughter. Asking her to leave her beloved ones. Losing her family to save them. Losing everything for survival.  
I guess I don't have another chance.  
Wouldn't it be better to just ask my family to leave this country and build a new one without me ? No, they have to live with the constant reminder that her daughter has been murdered by some freak near the gas station with a rifle. Cameras were overexposed at that time by some 'corruption', and no one would ever ask anything further.  
The body was found near a lake in the forest the next morning. Her jewels for example; earrings and ring were not found with the corpse.  
The one that has done this, isn't found yet, and they have to keep the body for examination to identify the pattern of the murderer.  
She would possibly have suffered from severe pain and massive blood lost.

I already saw my mom lie in her couch with my brother in her arms while listening to Castiel.  
Some glasses and vases will be shattered, possibly some cursing against my biological father that he had to protect me and helped me in any case like this.  
He would be shouted at. And I didn't care.  
I never saw him that much, so I can't call him my dad.  
In school we were always asked in what type of family we lived, we had to draw or explain everyone who was who…  
I still have the painting hanging in my room. A green boy with 3 hairs on his head. He had a toy car in his right hand, and in his left hand my hand. His sisters hand. We were running in the house while mom was dancing on an upbeat song that played on the orange radio.  
We lived in a pink house with 3 rooms, nothing more nothing less. The teacher would always ask why I drew a red man next to the house. 'I don't know miss, he is a stranger walking by our house. He often does that."

My name is Lucy Emerson.  
I'm 18 years old. I have brown, curly hair and blue eyes.  
My family is my only half-brother David Emerson and my mother Nadine Emerson.  
I was known as the odd girl around town. I had hobbies such as painting and listening to music.  
I died the fifth of march in the year of 2008 at 3 in the morning. My murderer is unknown. I was robbed and killed shortly after. –Lucy.


	10. Waning Crescent

_**Waning Crescent.**_

I sat myself down at the porch. Dangerous or not, I do not care right now. Castiel was on his way to inform my family that I've passed away.  
And there I was staring at the moon and bright stars that were shining above me. I played with my ring on my right arm. It was a small white-golden ring with a big Swarovski stone on it.  
It looked even more elegant in the early moonlight.  
My mom gave me the ring for my 16th birthday.  
She gave her last bit of saved money up for this ring. I adore it, it makes me feel like I'm more than just a unwanted person in the media.

I wasn't even 5 minutes out there before someone approached me.  
"Are you trying to get killed out here ?"  
"Why not?" I asked.  
The answer never came. I guess I made my point.  
"Where is Dean ?"  
"Oh," he looked annoyed. "he went along with Castiel to support him."  
He sat himself down without an invitation. Considering that I was 18, he still offered me a drink.  
It was hot outside and there arose some droplets on the beer bottles.  
"Isn't it illegal for me to drink alcohol ?" He knew I was teasing, because I already opened mine.  
"Says someone wearing a top that advertises Jack Daniels Whiskey."  
Touché.  
" Official number one." I took a small sip from the bottle. He looked pleased back at me.  
He had nice tensed cheekbones when he smiled.  
"You know, you look awfully calm about this… uh- situation. Crying would be the least that a teenage girl could show after she lost most of her loved ones."  
"Most ? I lost everything, everyone. I don't see the case to cry about it when nobody is there to cheer me up. And I'm not calm, far from that to be exact. I just do not show it as others would. Being a weird form of humanity made me look at the less attractive side of the world. I hardened up, isn't that what you both have gone through ?"  
Startled. I could read it in his face.  
"On the other hand, I do not care. Life is like that for someone like me."  
"And what are you precisely ?"  
"Different."  
I started pulling and stretching with the fabric of my clothes. It was getting darker, and the moon shone even brighter. It lighted up the whole motel.  
A soft breeze erupted and blew Sam's and my hair away from our faces. We finished up our drinks.  
It had a cheap beer taste. But it had a kick to it. Or maybe it was the alcohol.  
I began to yawn frequently. How late was it again ?

"Am I boring you ?" He asked carefully.  
"Don't ask stupid questions." Relieved. This guy is easy to read. I tapped with my nails against the glass while gazing into the sky. How long were we sitting here ?  
The sky got pretty unclear because of the dark clouds. The wind was getting heavier and stronger.  
Something bad was coming along with the storm. I sensed as if we weren't alone.  
Crowley.  
That guy does not understand the word: back of.  
"I think it is time to get back in the hotel." We both hurried ourselves in there. I checked every window. Both protected with a line of salt. That should keep him away.  
I learned it from Castiel when I was little.  
"I won't be here every day of your life, and you know I care about you. Listen to me and do what I say. When you feel scared, make sure you close your windows and seal them off with salt."  
Back then it sounded strange, but even these hunters use this old trick.  
I still sensed him.  
"Sam," He turned his eyes to meet mines. "please take your shirt of." And without saying something else, he did. The tattoo was still there.  
"No demon possession."  
"You learn fast." He had a bad scratch at the sides of his chest. They looked bad.  
Suddenly I got an idea. What if, that glowing from this morning, could do the opposite ?

I saw Castiel appear, from nothing, next to me.  
"Lucy," He began, I saw his disapproving face appear. He had a bruise on his temporal bone. Mom got him good. I saw his red eyes. Would he have cried ? Is that even possible for him to show an emotion that goes this far.  
Dean opened the door. "Thank you for waiting on me Cas."  
Sam quickly putted his shirt back on.  
That's such a shame. I knew that Castiel wouldn't trust me anymore being alone with a guy.

"Why aren't you two in bed yet ? It is past your bedtime."  
"Classic one Dean. How did it went back there ?"  
"We will talk about it later." Castiel still looked sad, is it all an act ?

I changed into nightwear in the bathroom and jumped into bed. We all pushed the lights out. Castiel still stood there, awkwardly waiting.  
"Cas, we all need sleep." Said Dean when I almost dozed off.  
"It is ok. I will wait. Here. "  
Was I glad I did not own his traits. I swung one leg above the sheets, it was still too hot in this city.  
And I fell asleep in no time.


	11. Mozart's bitch

_**Mozart's bitch.**_

2 days. We've been 2 days on the road. For what ? Don't ask.  
Castiel knew someone that could help us with the Crowley problem. It has been quite these past days. No attacks, possessions, invasions, nothing. Should that concern me in any way ?

The thing that concerned me was : why do we always stay at the shittiest motel in every city we pass by and are these guys actually helping me?  
Dean rolls his eyes and sighs deeply. "Could you stop staring at me via the decline mirror. You are creeping me out."  
Castiel turned his head sideways.  
The light turned red, and the car stopped brutally.  
I wasn't wearing a safety belt and hit my head against the head supporter from Sam's seat.  
Sam saw this happen and responded immediately. "Dean, no one is on the road."  
"You could've warned me douchebag."  
"Lucy." He looked strict at me. I couldn't feel anymore ashamed.  
"Guys," We all looked closer on the road. A dozen of guys stood there surrounding our car.  
Both brothers looked at each other. "Vampire's."  
Picking up their guns made the guys even more worked up. They all breathed heavily, plus they had a destroying look on their faces.  
"Dean, Sam put down your guns. I'll go talk to them." Castiel stepped out of the car and walked to the group.  
Some of them showed their teeth to make sure he was close enough. Not a minute later they all flied.  
He got back in the car. Everyone paused and raised their eyebrows including mine.  
"We are close."  
Why do I feel a sudden proudness ? He doesn't matter in my life. He doesn't right ?

A gas station.  
We had to refill. While Dean was taking care of it, Castiel went in the shop to see for something descent to eat. I could look at Sam's face through the side mirror without getting noticed.  
He was gazing into the horizon. It was getting late again.  
That scratch on his brow bone didn't seem to heal fast. He rubbed against it, but retreated his hand when he felt the pain by pressing against it.  
He hadn't shaved in 2 days, and a beard was beginning to show.  
Looking good with an unshaved beard is a real achievement.  
A lot of guys in school tried to look sturdy with their beginning facial hairs. Most of them failed miserably .  
They all looked like homeless guys, trying to get a date and hoping for second base on one single date.  
Immature.  
If I was this stupid to fall in love with one of those guys, where would I've ended up in ?  
Everything better then here right ?  
My thoughts got snapped back into reality when Dean stepped back in the car. He slammed his door shut and turned himself to me. "Still going strong princess ?" Looking at my arm made me sick.  
The bandages where still located on it, but it had swollen a lot bigger. I stretched my hand to see if I still felt it. A pain rushed in arm.  
The medicines actually worked in the hospital, because this did hurt a lot stronger.  
"I just hope we get there soon enough." That was enough for Dean to understand.  
In the distance I saw Castiel coming out of the store. He had a white big in his hand that contained something small. Maybe a magazine or something.  
He threw the plastic bag on Dean's lap.  
I could see a piece of the magazine. It was a girl that only wore a lotus flower on her head.  
"Is that your collection pervert ?"  
He wasn't even slightly ashamed of himself. He grinned at me and dropped his magazine next to the handbrake.  
A loud growl from the car, and we moved further.

Castiel was our own GPS. Left, straight forward, turn, right. He knew where we were going.  
We stopped at an old mansion. The style was wonderful, all these swirls and curls. But it looked like no one lived there for the past decades. Which is such a waste.  
Everyone stepped out of the car, waiting for Castiel to lead us.  
"Here, you might need it." Said Sam while throwing me a flashlight.

This house was old, the wallpaper missed pieces. A lot of spider webs. No electricity.  
But better than those motels.  
I wanted to walk behind Castiel. Yet, neither of the brother thought that, that was a good idea.  
Dean pulled at my arm to get me behind him.  
I felt eyes looking at us. Every move we made was being watched.  
My flashlight was the weakest oldest thing, it flickered on and off. Shaking with it did not help.  
We all listened carefully to the sound at the end of the hall.  
Someone wanted us to find him or her.  
The sound became stronger while we came closer. Classic music.  
Castiel stopped at an old wooden door. The sound clearly came from that room.  
"I'm going in first. You wait here until I give you the permission."  
So he teleported.

It took him more than 10 minutes before he opened the door. His hair was all messed up.  
And behind his collar of his sweater I could've swore that I saw a hickey.  
Dean patted him on the back and went in first. Than Sam. And me at last.

A woman sat down behind a desk.  
She was beautiful. Long chestnut-brown hair that she tied up in a classic pony tail with some flyways next to her ears. Navy-green eyes with specks of brown in it. She sat there with her head high.  
"Well if it isn't the famous brothers Winchester. You killed a lot of my friends the past year. On the other hand, enemies too. Ah, and Lucy," She knew my name ?! " I didn't hear a lot from you. But from what I've heard,' She laughed. "you seem to be a pain in the ass for Crowley. Now boys,  
can anyone of you tell me which soundtrack I'm playing right now ?"  
Both of them seemed to be somewhere else, looking around the room. Expecting to be attacked any second. "We don't have time for this."  
"Oh, we sure do Castiel. Anyone ?"  
"Symphony No 40 Movement 1 .Molto Allegro." I stepped closer to the desk. "Can you please tell me why I'm a target for Crowley." I pushed my hands against the siders of the wooden chair.  
I wasn't proud of myself that I knew this. Our school teacher made us learn and study every song of Mozart, and all those famous/timeless musicians.  
"Good guess, you raised your daughter well Castiel. Teenagers these days only listen to horrible music. Show me you hand dear."  
The only thing I'm good at is music. Which is which, what instruments are being used etc. It kept me going in life. But knowing these types of music like old rock and classic music didn't made me popular or normal. Even if we had to study this for exams.  
All my classmates failed because they weren't going to study it. Just because it would lower their popularity meter.  
It made me a mistake with some odd taste for music. Dean got sick of it and stuck his knife into the desk. "Listen here, you are telling us what is wrong with her right now, or I'll cut your head of."  
"Slow down cowboy," She looked closely to the knife. "that's mahogany you know. Your boyfriend right here doesn't have any manners." I hoped she meant it towards Castiel and not me.  
"My dear, could you lie your arm on the desk please." I did what she said I had to do. She began to unroll the bandages from my arm.  
"Oh my," My arm looked swollen and almost pitch-black at some places. My vanes where thick and moved along with the light in it. It looked disgusting. As if something moved inside my arm.  
The pain was unbearable.  
She moved her head closer to my arm and sniffed at it. She took a deep breath to sniff in all the aroma. She looked up and opened her mouth. Her teeth were covered in small splinters of fake-looking ones.  
I pulled my arm away from her hands and stumbled some steps backwards.  
"It is a long time that I've witnessed this." She looked happy and shocked at the same time.  
"I bet it hurts a lot doesn't it ?" I nodded my head, while covering my arm with the bandages back again.  
"Do you know anything more ?" Asked Castiel.  
"Anima piston infernorum. Or as we know his famous name: Seth. He is known as the soul piston of the underworld. He takes a victim and, don't ask me how, locates himself into the body.  
He degenerates their body until there is nothing left. He feeds himself with their souls and tries to manipulate their dreams while attacking the brain. So the victim would suffer from nightmares.  
The words say that when you dream, you would see his face. But the weird thing is : he doesn't have one. It has been years since that has happened around here."  
Seth. So that's his name.  
"Is there a way out ?" Asked Sam.  
"There always is. But it isn't just a simple spell Samuel. It is a more psychical challenge. Unless,…"  
"Unless what." All three of them sounded the same. "You find that little wooden box."


	12. Hunting

_**Hunting.**_

Hunters. Rare, yet if you see one, you will see them all.  
As a group of alpha wolves. Wanting to hunt for the same rabbit.

We sat ourselves down at a little café that was still open in this town and asked immediately for the menu.  
A nice blond-haired girl came up to us to take our orders. "We're just going to take a burger with some fries and beer. Oh, and for this kid, a happy meal and a glass of water." Dean kept eye flirting with the waitress, it is just unbelievable.  
This guy can't take a break from his lust towards food and sex. Oh, not forgetting about his baby. I couldn't sit in front, or touch anything. I'm grateful that he didn't throw me in the trunk yet.

I smiled at Dean, but when the waitress went to another table, I kicked as hard as I could against his shinbone.  
He jumped a meter up in the sky and tossed me this vulgar look. Dipshit.  
It doesn't mean that he is older than me, he could undermine me. Even Castiel thought this, because he did not corrected or dictated me.  
I looked at the wall that was full of old school logo's and stickers. Route 66. Metallica. Pinup girls.  
Hey, even a Jack Daniels Whiskey logo.

A group of motorcycles lined up in front of the café. The noise was a fascination. All these tough-looking guys stepped in and were welcomed by every worker in here.  
Regular customers, I suppose.

They had all-leather clothing, tattoos everywhere, even on the eyelids. Mustaches and beards that were scruffy and untamed.  
I saw that Dean and Sam were intimidated by those guys. Hell, even I felt like that.  
They sat there selves down right besides us.  
We got our meals, and enjoyed it while being watched by those monsters of men. The unease was frightening.  
One of the guys gave me a wink from the other side of the table. "Hey hun, what are you up to ?"  
My first thought : Oh god, don't rape me. Then again, I saw Castiel's face all stressed out. The same face when he saw me and Sam standing there while he was topless.  
It was priceless, as if I was a reckless teen that would jump on every guy I met.

A southern accent broke the tense. "A full round of beer for the whole gang here !" Every guy cheered and high-fived each other.  
Glasses of beer glided on the table and were grabbed perfectly. Such ambience, I have never saw something like this.  
I was flustered, all these men were having a good time with each other's company.  
They create their own adventure on a whim. I envied that. Having friends, adventures. Not enemies, and searching for some stupid box with these hunters and my biological dad.

The guy that winked at me before came closer and offered me his hand. "Dance with me."  
How could someone be so confident of themselves ? Maybe because he was drunk…  
"I-I don't understand, there isn't even music playing." He came this close, that I could smell his alcoholic breath. Definitely drunk.  
"We don't need any music for this." He said as he swung his hips playfully. I thought it was a funny gesture. But Castiel was having none of it. He stood up and came between me and the guy.  
"Keep your filthy human hands of my daughter." As he rose his voice, the guy grabbed his shoulder and giggled. Blind drunk. "Man, I love you." He said while hugging Castiel.  
Both Dean and Sam laughed at this. But I felt something boiling up.  
"Castiel, can I talk to you. Alone." He dropped the poor drunken guy softly on a barstool.  
And went with me outside.

Waiting for the fight that would come, he stood still relatively serene. How he looked at me was suspicious.  
"About what Lucy ?" He said as he stood perfectly still. So to hear by his voice, he had no idea what it could possibly be. I felt misunderstood.  
I found that he had to start the conversation. So, I walked past all the motors, waiting. His presence made me very unexpectedly pleasant.  
But I was still waiting.  
"You know that this will lead to nothing. I'm not particularly good with 'the talk'."  
Incredible.  
"I still don't get it, dad. You do not know how to act as a human being, let alone feel someone's emotions or thoughts, but you know how to obtain a woman and have a child with her."  
He stood there totally perplexed. Not knowing what just happened here. "And," I went further, "I know, you explained it to me a thousand times, when you achieve to get drunk there will be consequences and even worse death etc. etc. But what I don't get is that…." But he was still not listening to what I was saying. If he was made out of stone. No movement, no emotions.  
Was he trying to fly away ? Making his way out as subtle as possible ?  
Hell no, this wasn't going to happen. Not here, not now. I was talking, and I needed to finish every single word I wanted to tell him. I've cropped up every emotion, feeling, question for years. And now I'm done with it. He has to know how I feel.  
How I want him to leave me alone, let me live my life as I want to. Yes, maybe I want to get drunk, and have a hot night with a dude I met just some minutes ago.  
But that isn't the case, not at all. I'm 18 years old. I can take care of myself, alone. I don't need a father to pop up now and then to correct me when I'm right or wrong, or what I have to do with my life.  
I have to make my own decisions. Whether he likes it or not.  
I have lived with the fear of actually HAVING friends, and they would discover that I'm something monstrous.  
So I pushed ever opportunity that I got away from myself. Maybe I suffer from anxiety.  
Not being good enough, pretty enough, … I just don't want to disappoint someone.  
I felt angry enough to grab his arm and asked him fierce. "You know what you did. You can't go back in time, but don't chance me." I rose my voice by every word that came running out of my mouth.  
" I don't want to succeed YOUR expectations. I want to succeed mines ! So please, if you want to earn the right to correct me or advise me. One: Be more involved. And two: I'm grown up, I know my own abilities, if I want to have a beer once in a while, illegal or not, then fuck it ! I just deserve my freedom as much as everyone else !  
Could you at least nod or something ?" His eyes sparkled and a smile arose. His posture was relaxed and he opened his mouth.  
"You called me dad."

Did I ?

I became instantly calm.  
I just could not believe it. The only thing he heard was that one word. Dad.  
It is a rather strange word. Like, why. We could just name them with their names.  
I buried my knees in the sand. That word made me feel emotional. Maybe because Castiel noticed it.  
Why are teenage girls so emotional ? I still don't get it.  
"You never called me that. Well, when you were young, but that was some years ago." He sat himself down with his knees in the ground. He buttoned up his French coat and sighed.  
"Lucy, I heard everything you said now, and back then. I know when you needed me, and I would not come. My job is to protect my friends, partners and," he paused for a second," even my daughter."  
I felt obligated to say something, but what ?  
" It is unbelievable how you've grown these past years. You are a beautiful young woman. And I tend to overthink it. I just don't want to realize that you are an adult.  
For me, you still are my little angel." We both laughed. He , indeed, called me that.  
"Whatever you are going to decide, I'm there. I won't disturb your choices."  
"Thank you, Ca-… dad."  
He punched me with his elbow. "Now, about 'the talk'…"  
"Mom already informed me about sexual intercourse and all that kind of stuff."  
"I'm glad. I still don't understand it."  
"Sure, you don't."


	13. The odds of reliability

_**The odds of reliability.**_

My clothes are filthy and aren't washed in days. So I demanded for some new ones. Since the only thing we were going to accomplish today, is searching for more information about that box.  
I was tying my shoes to get ready for a day of shopping.  
"Wait there covergirl, don't you think it is too dangerous outside ?" Said Dean while he obstructed the door from our motel room.  
"What are you going to do about it. Make me wash my clothes in that sink." As I pointed at a rusted vanity. "Or can you go and shop for me instead ?" I said sarcastically.  
He pressed his index finger against his temple, trying to figure out whether I could go or not.  
"Oh come on Dean. She has to find something decent to wear, plus I can handle this myself." Said Sam while getting an approved nod from Castiel.  
I'm glad that these two guys of the bunch understand me a little bit better than this clumsy clown. So overprotective.  
"Fine. But you're not going alone. I'm coming with you."  
"I can come with you both." Said Castiel. I saw him already spread his wings. Is it weird to see an angels wings ? Because whenever he does this, none of the boys react.  
Maybe it is some kind of effect that half angels have.  
I tucked in my t-shirt and stepped outside to sniff in the fresh air. A lot better than that moldy sent in the motel room. Do they ever clean those rooms ? Or sheets ?  
Guess that I'm not going to sleep this night, and philosophe about all those things that might have happened on there. Great.

It was a small town, so, there weren't a lot of shops for clothing. And Dean started to get impatient with me.  
"Are we there yet ? Is it so hard to find a decent shop for you ?" As we walked, I stopped and answered his annoying question.  
"First of all, you sound like a child, second: you wanted to come with me. Look at Castiel, he is doing fine."  
Castiel was having a blast, looking at all these pieces of clothing behind the windows, was something phenomenal. "You have got to see these men and women stand still for so long, I don't even think they are breathing."  
"Those are mannequins, a doll display where you put the clothes, that you sell in your store, on for advertising."  
It is rather weird that Castiel doesn't know a lot about the earth and the people in it. I'm still surprised how low his IQ is about the human species, because he is supposed to save and protect humans on earth. I laughed.  
"I'm going in here, you can wait outside if you want to, I'll scream if something isn't right. I promise."  
Before I walked in Dean shouted that I got a maximum of 20 minutes. We'll see about that.

Some boots, shorts, a pair of trousers, t-shirts, a sweater, 2 tops and socks. A total of a 86.53 dollars. That's not nothing, but I got enough from Dean.  
I did not know hunting is a job that provides you money. A tip, okay, but he had twelve or more credit cards in his wallet.  
"Mr. Swanning. Ok miss Swanning, you can type in the pin-code. Can I help you with a bag for all these ?" It was a neat men, with clothes from the store, he had a beautiful smile and was very helpful the whole routine. I shook his hands and left the shop feeling well.

Both, Dean and Castiel sat on a bench in front of the entrance. Their eyes focused directly on the bag.  
We all wandered around for a good hour until Dean had enough of it. "Lucy, I know that girls your age like this. But the longer we stay out here, the bigger the possibility to get noticed by demons and all of that." He made his point very clear, I had to make it out alive.  
I started to feel more and more secure around these guys, even around this bimbo. I guess the adventure brings people a little closer, or maybe it is just the pain that is speaking.  
The wound was getting bigger, but not better at all… we kept dragging our bodies around town to search for the last shop.  
"W- wait what ?!" Said Dean, he was blown his socks of just because the word lingerie felt out of my mouth.  
"Dean, for God's sake, I'm a girl and need some support everywhere you know. Bras and underwear is needed in this century, now if u will excuse me. I'm going in."

Immature, no life, overprotective,… I could make this list a lot longer than the great wall of China.  
I dropped all the pieces in a fitting room with the biggest armchair. So delicate in here. I looked in the mirror.  
God, I looked awful! My hair was all messed up and in knots. I had bruises around my neck, because of the incident with Crowley. I'm glad the guys did not see that. They wouldn't even let me look outside then.  
I picked the black bra with some laced pattern on the bands. In the middle of it was a little rhinestone dangling. It reflected the light and projected a little rainbow-dot on the wall.  
It fitted perfectly. I wanted to undress myself back into my old clothes and almost did, but there he stood.  
French coat, messy hair, beard, Castiel.  
I screeched my lungs out. "COULD YOU TURN AROUND AND FLY BACK OUT !" I screamed as I covered the most of my body with the nearest T-shirt I had lying around.  
"You can't come in here while I'm changing my clothes, and DEFENITELY not when your daughter is picking out her underwear!" I whispered as irritated as I could.  
I guess my scream made the whole shop curious because there I was, half naked, with some lingerie on while Dean opened the curtains and saw Castiel stand there awkwardly forcing people to back away.  
He started grinning at me while I putted on a T-shirt. "It's not funny!"  
"Hell, it was. Let me pay all these pieces at the register so we can go to Sam. Oh, and fancy that rhinestone."  
I threw the pieces at him and closed the curtain rapidly so I could change myself in peace.


	14. Destiny's child

_**Destiny's child.**_

I declare God's dream for my life is coming to pass. It will not be stopped by people, disappointments or adversities. God has solutions to every problem I will ever face already lined up. The right people and the right breaks are in my future.  
I will fulfill my destiny.  
This is my declaration.  
The only problem is; does he wants to help me, after all of this is over ?

-.

Castiel tried to guide Lucy in her room. He felt lost when Lucy drew herself away from him. He needed to take back some control in her life. That's going to be a hard quest.  
Hoping that he didn't look too emotional, he asked Sam if he found some information about this 'Seth'.  
"Not much, but dad knew this guy. He tried to defeat him a while ago. If I read the code correctly, she is stronger than we think." Dean raised his eyebrow.  
"Why so ?" Lucy didn't seem to care at all. But she snapped back to the present when Sam explained everyone why she was 'strong'.  
Sam placed his finger on the book and followed every sentence that was written down. "Anima piston infernorum's destruction is a fast job, most of the victims don't survive. They will be sucked empty within 5 days max.  
Potential symptoms:  
- Burning pain at the exact place where he has located himself in.  
- Suffering from nightmare's.  
- Becoming emotionless/careless.  
- Not controllable over their own body.  
Which is followed by : death.  
Most of the victims," Sam pauses, and ran his hand through his hair. "commit suicide, that's what the administration thinks. They get drawn into suicide by him.  
I couldn't save any of them."

Sam's feet are back on the ground, and he's standing up, walking towards Lucy. He yanks her and glances down at her arm, and then looks back at his brother and his protecting angel. Knowing that this is a serious problem.  
"This is there a couple of days, and we don't know when 'it'," he did not wanted to call it a person, because this was something inhuman, trying to hurt this girl. "crawled in her, but I bet it is over the maximum of days. And she is still alive !"  
Both brothers knew that their dad was always right about these things. It's is impossible that Lucy survived this long, she doesn't seem to have a lot of trouble. She has some of the symptoms, but they appear and disappear in time.  
Dean pulled his phone out of his pocket to check the time. Quarter over eleven.  
This shopping is never going to happen again, a waste of time. He thought.  
Dialing a couple of numbers, and soon someone picked up at the other side of the call. "Yeah, it's me. We have a problem can you come over ?" He walked around the whole room while talking to the person. " Fine." He hung up and reaches out to Castiel. "We are going to rent a room next to this one. A lot has to be discussed.  
Sammy, you are looking out for Lucy here." Dean looked straight at Lucy, then back to Sam and made a clear wink.  
Sam opened his mouth to reply but he didn't got the chance before the other brother started walking out of the room.  
A click of the lock, and both of them knew, that they were stuck together for a good couple of hours.

Lucy already knew what was coming, it was late, both of them were tired. So she closed her eyes and waited.  
Sam tiled his head edgewise and smiled at the vulnerable face she made.  
"What are you doing ?" He asked.  
"Giving you some time to undress and dress yourself without me seeing it." She laid her head down and her arms wide over the bed.  
One bed. She thought. This could cause for an awkward situation.  
"What kind of expectations are you imagining Lucy, you don't have to close your eyes."  
"They are so going to make out." Said Lucy shamelessly.  
" Oh common, don't look at me like that." Sam corrected his face appearance. "A protecting angel has a special bond with their opponent, and you can see ,they have this look. Protecting, caring…, which I find wonderful because Dean doesn't look like that. At all." Sam shivered. Images that would never disappear are being projected in his head.  
Lucy raised an eyebrow at him as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.  
She jumped out of the bed, grabbing some chips that Castiel had bought at the gas station. Opening the bag and picking a good amount of chips in her hand. She didn't care what Sam would think about that.  
"Do you have something like that ?" Sam didn't understand the question. But Lucy noticed it before he could ask. "I mean, like someone special ?" She smirked, eyes narrowed with curiosity.  
She started to eat the chips as carefully as she could, merely, she still spilled some crumbs on the bed. She swept it from the covers onto the floor.  
"I had, back in college." He felt his heart breaking again. Why am I telling her this ? The memories flashed back.  
"Oh," She straightened her back and looked inquisitively, waiting for the story. "how was she ?" But Sam wasn't ready for this, maybe never.

He grabbed the bag of chips out her hands. Something arose, an electric chock, they unintentionally touched each other's fingers.  
What was that ? They both thought.  
"I think you are done with that." He took over the control of the conversation. And Lucy was having none of it.  
Sam tried to hide the bag in one of the cupboards, when he felt her hands on his shoulder blades.  
She had to reach to his ears, but she was too small. So, she stood on the tips of her toes.  
Lucy whispered in Sam's ear, breathe blowing across his face. "I'm not ready with that, thank you very much."  
She pulled abruptly at the bag.


	15. The space between

_**The space between.  
**_  
It shouldn't feel this good. Small hands pressing against his back.  
I felt her breathing. She is alive, like anyone else. She isn't a monster, far from.  
Fighting against the feeling wouldn't help, changing the subject instead, that could.  
I admitted and gave her the bag back. She looked proud of herself, but she saw something and changed her emotions in a snap.  
Lucy sighs and rolls her eyes playfully before she offered the bag. She didn't need it. Then why would she do something like that ?  
Was she trying to prove something ?

She rummaged in all the shopping bags she managed to carry the whole way to this room. "Sh*t, I forgot to buy an actual pajama."  
Sam laughed breathlessly. "Wait, I may have something you could wear." He gave Lucy a shirt of him. He knew that it would be way too big for her fragile body. But that, better than nothing.  
Turning himself around to avoid looking at her while she would change her clothes, made her respect him more.  
"It's fine, all done." She made sure that he couldn't see her underwear, and pulled the shirt a little lower.  
He spun around and clapped his hands once. Lucy blushes and Sam smiles. "Yeah," he admits. "you wear it better than me." Lucy's face lighted up, and she bounced back on the bed.  
She made herself comfortable by sitting cross-legged with her eyes locked on Sam. Blue eyes, he noticed again.  
The first thing that he saw in that warehouse were her eyes. Filled with tears, fear and anxious. Now, still the same but less obvious. Hardened.  
She isn't as transparent as most of the teenage girls he has met around the years.

One bed. I'm going to sleep on the coach again. Sam realized.  
Lucy began to hum an odd song. "I will sleep on the couch, so can you pass me a cushion and a blanket ?" He came closer to pick the blankets himself, because Lucy didn't respond. Where was she with her mind ?  
He yanked a couple of cushions and laid them down on the couch. "You still have an injury on you r waist." Said Lucy softly.  
"It's nothing, just look, it is healing slowly. It doesn't hurt at all."  
Sam threw a cushion in Lucy's face ,trying to make her worries about that small thing disappear. He stepped closer to aim another one at her.  
"Ok, I surrender stop with it !" She sighed and gave a small chuckle.  
Sam had to admit to himself, she looked cute in his old shirt. "I thought you were tougher Lucifer."  
Lucy posed, while flexing her tiny arms, but a pain stopped her immediately. She didn't tell Sam, she didn't needed to, Sam understood it.  
"You are a holding it back, why ?"  
"It doesn't help to whine about it" She murmurs. "No," Sam agrees. "But it doesn't help to hold it all inside either."  
Sam squatted next to the bed to get on the same eye-level as Lucy. "I'll protect you. Don't worry about it ok ? No one is going to die, today, tomorrow… as long as I'm alive you'll be too. Understand that ?"

Lucy gasped, it felt so unreal to have someone say this. It only appears in cheesy films or books. All fiction, no reality. But this is.  
She looked down at her hands, sweaty and intertwined with each other. "You do not have to do that, I can handle this all by myself. I don't want anyone to get hurt just because I was foolish.." She felt guilty.

He stood up, looking downwards on Lucy. Sam scrolled his shirt up and pointed at the wound on his waist.  
"I'm already in this with you, and I'm not backing up."  
"Don't say such delusional things. You could've left with your brother. You still can." Nervously, the girl rolled her shoulders.  
"But I'm glad you didn't." Lucy whispered, leaning her chin in her hands.  
Sam nods slightly, settling himself down next to Lucy. "So, what are your goals in life ? Anything important planned ?"  
She grinned, eyes crinkling at the edges. "I'm only eighteen Sam, plans or goals are so 2000."  
Sam smiled and turned to look out of the window at passing cars.  
"You know," She began, trying to figure out the sentence she was about to compose. "I always wanted something to do with adventure."  
"That's nice, you mean like traveling and visiting every mile of the earth ?"  
"Something like that." Sam closed his eyes and finally asked. "Are you scared ?"

Lucy doesn't answer. This is for him to figure out.  
Of course she was scared. There was a minor possibility that she would survive this insanity.  
"You don't have to hide your emotions, you know." He said, not opening his eyes. He knew he was getting too personal with the job.  
Protect, nothing more, nothing less. But he couldn't, he felt the urge to make her feel wanted on the earth, that she matters to someone…  
He wanted to make her feel alive, even if it was for a brief moment.  
If his brother would see him right now, he would probably have called him all the nicknames in the book starting with stupid.

Lucy bumped her elbow against Sam's arm, making him open his eyes. "I'm scared as hell. I act calm and cool, because that is the only defense I have. I can't protect myself with for example : a colt, knife…. I'm someone who just sits there, hoping that the problem would fade away, as long as I don't react to it. But look at me, sitting here in some huge pile of total mess.…" She sighed, took a deep breath and smiled. "If you tell anyone about this, I will learn how to work with knives and hunt you down."

Sam shook his head. "Ah, so you do have a heart ?"  
"Whatever." Lucy pushed Sam of the bed and pulled the sheets over her legs. It was still hot, and the ventilators didn't seem to work in this crappy motel.

"Goodnight Lucifer."  
Both of them dimmed the lights and fell asleep listening to the complete silence in the room.


	16. Lucifer rising

_**Lucifer rising.**_

Lucy looked across the room, gazing at the sleeping hunter. She shuffled to the bathroom and closed the door softly.  
Warm water streamed into the bath, while she poured a splash of soap.  
She pulled the t-shirt above of her head and smelled the scent of cheap motels and musty rooms. But there was a predominant scent that took her attention. It was pleasant, a scent the she smelled now and then, Sam…  
'Why did I tell him all of that ? Now I look stupid as hell.' She thought to herself.  
She immersed herself in the warm water and held her breath while washing her hair. Ashamed of her body, she covered herself with the biggest towel she could get and let her hair down, dripping all over the floor.  
Lucy swiped the condense of the mirror and stared at her own reflection. She didn't look the same, exhausted maybe ? Her skin looked paler than before, and she had dark circles around her eyes. It began to show, that monster is getting closer to destroying the life that she had. But she still had to figure out if that was bad, or for the better.  
The door opened slightly ajar because of the wind. There he was, sleeping. He looked less dangerous when he sleeps.

How would it feel to be one of these…. Hunters ? Risking your life for someone else's. Risking everything for one demon or monster at a time. Now that sounds like an adventure. Even for just one day, it would be the best day so far.  
Making every day count as if it was your last. And with a brother, is a bonus. Someone you trust, someone who you protect and vice versa.

Lucy sneaked into the bedroom to grab a couple of clothes, leaving a wet trace of her feet onto the carpet. The bags crunched and she tried to do it as fast as she could to prevent him waking up.  
The door clicked open and made Lucy jump higher than she ever though she could. She ran back to the bathroom , but slipped almost face-first.  
She slammed her door shut and cursed at herself for being so foolish.

"Hey, wake up Mario ." Dean slapped his hand against Sam's jaw. "The princess has escaped."  
"That isn't true Dean, Lucy is in the bathroom."  
"Cas, it's" He sighed. "Never mind, we have other things on our hands." Dean brushed crumbs off the sofa, slinked his jacket over the back, and sat down.  
"Did you bring a hooker in this motel ?"Asked Bobby. Both boys knew that, that wouldn't be a surprise. Yet, they shook their head.  
"Not a hooker exactly," Sam explained, Bobby wondered what would come next. "you see, we have saved her from an attack that Crowley planned with numerous demons and," Bobby interrupted Sam's long explanation. "I don't have that much time boy."  
"She's a half angel." Dean, Castiel and Sam looked at Bobby's perplexed face and waited for a response of disbelief.  
"Who is ?"  
Suddenly there's a loud bang from the room beside them, and a woman's voice shouting in fear. Dean leaped to his feet just before he stomps into the room, seeing Lucy sitting next to a bunch of broken pieces of mirror.  
"What happened ?"  
Bobby struggled behind Dean and examined the girl. "She ?" He asked. Sam hurried himself to look at Lucy.  
"You're bleeding, what did you do ?"  
"I-I don't know, I was taking a bath, took my clothes, putted them on, and" She gasped. "He is here." She began to hyperventilate and bumped herself through everyone.  
"Who's here ?" Dean frowned and took Lucy with both of his hand to calm her down.  
She eventually did and told all of them that, "Seth, he stood next to me, I saw him in the mirror."  
"So you punched the mirror ? What kind of nonsense is this ?" Bobby didn't know what was going on, and wanted to understand everything that was playing on here.  
Lucy straightened her back and looked emotionless back at Bobby.  
"I'm sorry old man, but if you don't fucking know what is going on, please shut up." How cold, no, fearless.  
Where did that came from ?  
"Hey, hey !" Dean came in between. "Bobby," He started. "I'll explain everything in a minute. And you," He pointed at Lucy to make his point very clear. "Don't talk to my family like that. You are going to wash your hands, I'll look at the wounds when they are sanitized and take care of the broken pieces in the bathroom."

Lucy slowly walked back to the bathroom, legs struggling.  
Bobby smiled at his boys. "I like that girl, she brings the maturity out of you toddlers."


	17. Exorcism that demon

_**Exorcism that demon.  
**_

"So you are telling me that this woman over her, is a half angel, half human ?" Said Bobby. He crossed his arms full of disbelief. "AND she has a demon inside of her ?"  
Dean was picking up the broken mirror pieces casually, while Sam was looking for some sanitizer in the cupboards.  
He stretched his arm to high, which re-opened his healing wound. The blood that escaped from it got sucked up by his T-shirt, and left a wet, dark stain. It didn't affect him, his mind was still on that conversation he had with Lucy.  
No plans, no goals for her life that has to come, just adventure. But what kind of fun is that ?  
He had is whole life planned by then, school, university,… He saw himself with a job he loves, a wife and child living in a beautiful home.  
And there she was.  
Lucy was rubbing her hands uncontrollably under the cold stream of water. The blood drained into the sink with the water.  
"Sammy !" Dean brought him back to the present, snapping his fingers.  
"Yes, uh Bobby, Castiel gave us some information about this sort of monster. And dad had something written about it in his book. The only way to kill this thing is with a cure."  
"Not to mention that this 'cure' is in Crowley's hands." Dean added.

Castiel laid his hand on Lucy to stop her. "Let me help you." He whispered while dapping her wet arms with a clean towel.  
Castiel tried to be as careful as he could. "I really saw him standing beside me, it wasn't a dream or illusion. It felt so real ! What is happening to me ?" Lucy asked back at him, accepting the help she got from his father. It was well meant, he tries his best. The best an angel can.  
He wanted to answer her question, the only problem was that: he didn't knew it himself. He was as frightened as she was inside. He felt her feelings, but could not react to that. Castiel wanted his little daughter back, young, childish, joking with her little brother.  
Laughing and running around the house to escape from bedtime.  
She might not know this, but he was always there. Every birthday, holiday etc. He always stood there, in the shadows. Looking at his little girl, he couldn't wait to say something to her. But her mother wouldn't let him. Castiel would hurt her when he would show himself and explain it all.  
And he had his proof now.

" A cure," Bobby laughed." we are not in a magical land full of rainbows and free food. We are in this god's forsaken place called earth, where you can exorcism a demon. Didn't I raise you boys well enough to have a brain ?"  
Everyone stopped their actions.  
"Of course, Sammy you get your stuff and I will do my thing." He stood up and dropped the pieces in the trashcan and picked up a chair, which he placed in the middle of the room. He asked Lucy to sit down.  
"Bobby could you tie her?" She didn't even blink and sat herself calmly down in the wooden chair.  
"Do you think that I would escape ?" Lucy spoke sarcastically, just to get his blood boiling.  
"Not you, but THAT thing in your arm." Bobby tied her hands on the chair, and with every knot he made he said a quick and soft 'Sorry".  
Hunters don't do that, they are emotionless creatures when it comes to this. It is a daily routine for them, so why would he?  
"I don't need your pity, you are just and old men that is tying a girl to a chair." Bobby yanked the last knot tightly and smiled back at her.  
"Not just an old man. I raised these boys as if they were my own, and I'm proud of it. So everything they did so far, are things I learned them. Don't judge someone by his age."  
Dean sprayed a big circle around Lucy, and a star in the middle with symbols. Dean did this fast and easily. He almost sounded joyful when he said that. "Sam, you can start."  
"This won't work. The only thing that would is the cu-"  
"Shut up Cas ! " He pushed him against the wall and tightly gripped his coat. "We have to try everything in the book before that dumb cure! We're not even sure if it exists." Castiel didn't show him his shock. "She is my daughter." He whispered in Dean's ear.  
"I know." Dean released Castiel from his grip and cooled down.  
Castiel dropped his head towards the floor and nodded, giving Dean the approval to go on. He had to.

Sam didn't wanted to do this. But why ? It is just and old exorcism, it won't kill anyone, except hopefully that demon. He did this a thousand times without any feeling or second thoughts. Yet, he believed Castiel. It wouldn't work if he said so.  
But Dean is his brother, older brother. They fought together, for each other, never against.  
_Family always comes first, family always comes first._ He repeated in himself.

Sam opened his book and started to read the sentences out loud.  
"Exorcizamus te, omnis  
immundus spiritus, omnis  
satanica potestas, omnis  
incursion infernalis adversarial, omnis legio,  
omnis congregatio et secta diabolica. » His voice started out strong, but at the end the voice crumbled. He felt disturbed.

Lucy threw her head back and felt a rare shock through her whole body, starting at her chest.  
"That's it ?" Dean asked, he sounded disappointed. He was ready to jump on that thing any time soon. No flash, light monster,… nothing.  
"Well, did it work ?" Bobby didn't sounded disappointed, rather flustered that this didn't happen in the way he expected it to happen.  
Both of them stared at the girl, sweating, still breathing.  
Sam took the shortest straw and took a closer look at Lucy. He lifted his hand to the bandages to check if the thing disappeared.  
A little closer, and Lucy grabbed his wrist strongly. Sam reacted immediately and grabbed her wrist back, trying to get loose.  
He gasped and freezes when he saw her hand, they were glowing bright. "What are you doing ?!" Sam asked quickly, still trying to escape.  
But her grip was too strong all of a sudden. They were glued together.  
He looked up, meeting her gaze, eyes were shining as bright as the moon. A burning sensation ran through his veins, the contact between their skin stung sharply.  
Sam heard a soft voice speaking to him. "Sanabo te." It was quite and demanding at the same time.  
Lucy inhaled violently and retreated her hand. And where her hand laid, you saw a burned print of a small hand. Hers.


	18. Pants on fire (Liar, liar)

Pantsonfire**. (**Liar**, **liar**)  
**  
We may be as different as the darkest shades of blue in the night and the brightest shades of the sun but my blood still runs through her. -Brave**  
**  
Is God trying to punish me ? What have I done ? She is my only daughter. Castiel thought bitterly to himself. It hit a spot deep in him.  
The hand, the glowing, the words she spoke… She has more power in her than Castiel thought she would.  
But he didn't realize that a half angel could do this. Both Dean and Castiel knew what happened, and were staring at the girl sitting in the chair. Tied with ropes.  
The girl that grabbed Sam's wrist and did the impossible. They bonded.  
The characterizes were the same when it happened to Dean and himself. He still felt his shoulder in his hand whenever he thought about it. He gripped him tight and raised him from perdition. But he doesn't blame himself for that. It was his choice to help Dean, and he would do it again, and again. Over and over.  
He would bleed for the Winchesters. That was his choice, and he made it. Not Lucy, or was it ?

Sam tripped some steps back and landed on the floor, exhausted and shocked. So did Lucy, a mixture of sweat and tears dripped from her fine chin. Dean and Bobby grabbed Sam by his shoulders to support him, and laying him on the couch where he spent his last hours a few moments ago. Dean's eyes met Castiel's.  
A meaningful look was projected on his face. He wanted to explain what happened, but Castiel wouldn't let him.  
"I did i-" Said Lucy, eyes swimming in tears. She cleared her throat and repeated it, louder and without a stutter. "I did it again." Bobby finally looked at me with his eyes right into hers. "Then why did you do this ?" Shouted Dean.  
Lucy's throat was dry, and tears streamed , firstly warm and after that cold. She closed her eyes. "I did not do this on purpose Dean I-"  
"You don't hurt my little brother, no one does!" But it wasn't her fault. Something greater in her made her grab his wrist. It was too late to explain.  
_I'm a monster, I hurt too many people. On purpose or not, I do. _Lucy thought to herself, fighting back the rest of her tears. Bobby still looked her straight in the eyes, piercing through her soul. As if he wanted to scold her. Yet, he kept quit. Lucy thought that Bobby finally realized what kind of creature she is, not normal…

_Lucy don't worry about it. _It was the voice of Sam in her head. She blinked harshly to look if he didn't move his lips.  
"I'm fine Dean, stop being so worried about me. Look :" Sam pointed his wrist towards Dean's face. "It isn't a big deal."  
_It must hurt. _Lucy thought.  
Bobby finally made out his mind and spoke. "What did just happened ?"Wisely chosen, while he could just swear at Lucy, being mad at her etc. But instead he asked it carefully and calm, wanting answers.

Dean looked mad at Castiel, he is going to tell it, whether Castiel wants it or not. His brother and uncle deserve an explanation, he isn't going to like this. But f*ck what he wants. Dean cares more about his little pain in the ass brother.  
"Lucy just b-" His voice was raw and hoarse. Dean nodded, Castiel won. He can tell whatever he wants towards Bobby, Sam and Lucy.  
He doesn't want to make this situation even harder by putting his brother in danger.  
"Lift your shirt Sam" Castiel required. Dean waited for the explaining, or lying he was about to do.  
"Jeez, why does everyone wants me do undress myself ?" Sam said with a half smirk on his face. He recovered quick from the chock, while Lucy still was sobbing her heart out. It hurted her more than Sam. But maybe not on a physical level. She was still human, showing her emotions openly.  
That is something Castiel would never fully understand, angels couldn't do that. They can only feel such a harsh emotion, but will not be shown in any case.  
They have feelings to, they are not all warriors without emotions. Or maybe this is a flaw with Castiel. Too much heart. As Gabriel said to him.

"Just do it." Commanded Dean. Lucy focused her eyes on Castiel, looking for safety, secureness… So he smiled back at her, making it look less bad. Giving her a sparkle of hope.  
Sam rolled up his shirt and stopped right under his tattoo, letting a little part of it shown. In the presence of everyone he traced his fingers on the wound that was there just a few seconds ago, it had to be open and bleeding, at least a scar by now. Yet, nothing, better than ever, no scratch, scar….. It healed ? No, Lucy healed him.  
Lies. Dean and Castiel knew it damn too well. But dean couldn't deny it, the girl healed his brother. Maybe that could be handy for the further hunting.  
_So that is what half angels can do ?_ Sam thought, speaking in himself. But Lucy heard it to, his soft voice waving around her, like a second heartbeat.

She healed him, but instead he has her hand on his wrist. Was this temporary ? Or would it disappear in time ?  
Either way, she was relieved that what she did, was slightly good.  
Bobby's straight brows together. He touched his forehead and let his hands slide down along the sides of his face, and scruffy beard. "What in the hell are you young girl. If you're not a demon, yet not fully an angel. Why can you do all of this ?"

No one knew.

Sam took the opportunity and hurried himself to Lucy, untying her and swiping away the tears and sweat with the heel of his hand. Softly touching her skin. There was a change of getting 'burned' again, yet he didn't need to think twice about it. When her feet finally touched the ground, she tried to stand up.  
She was too exhausted. The power and Seth both were too much for her, it drowned her energy quickly. Lucy's muscles went weak like noddles, and she tried to seek support. She collapsed and just a few centimeters and she would hit the floor.  
"Not on my watch!" Sniffed Bobby. He grabbed her on time and swung her arm around his neck. Lucy looked up with her big eyes. "For an old man, you sure are fast."


	19. Teenage dirtbag

**Teenage dirtbag.  
**

Bobby gave a small, understanding sigh when everybody remained silent, lips pouting. Dean's stomach rumbles, a reminder that they didn't eat their breakfast yet, because of the occupation that had happened. "How about some food ?"  
Everybody shook their head equally. Lucy sat there on the couch next to Sam, silently rocking forwards and backwards, tapping her finger on her lap. Her thoughts were shattered, and she couldn't say a word. Everything just didn't fit right.  
A half angel, a demon, the king of hell, the Winchester family, her father… A week ago she was this unimportant girl in school, getting mocked on because of her taste of music and absentness of mind. A wallflower. And look where she stood now. Facing real demons, in fact, there was one located in her arm right now.  
"Some things never change with you Dean" Said Bobby, rolling his eyes. The brothers Winchester putted their jackets on, while Bobby corrected the position of his cap. Lucy didn't move an inch. "Are you coming with us ? Or are we all too good for you, princess ?" Dean teased, trying to get her attention back. "Oh common, don't be so melodramatic." He added when Lucy stared angrily at him. Dean walked towards the sink and started to fill a glass of water, for no particular reason. But his eyes told the difference, he was planning something childish.  
Bobby kneeled in front of Lucy and tried to talk her out of bad thought. "A meal won't hurt kiddo, you'll need the strength. I can't carry you all the way and back. You know, I'm an old man." You saw Dean slowly sneak up behind Lucy, with a huge grin on his face, almost not being able to contain his laughter for himself. He held the glass right above Lucy's head, waiting for the right moment, but Bobby saw it coming. "Hey idjit, where are we ?" He asked, getting Lucy her attention. She looked upwards and saw the glass of water. A drop dripped from the glass right on her lips. "Are we in the kindergarten ? But that glass away son, before you start making other bad choices." Lucy started giggling._ Burned  
_Dean looked disappointed and let out an annoyed moan. "I'll remember that." Said Lucy, still trying to stop laughing. She was supposed to be angry and sad, but this was too precious. Seeing an adult man being scolded at by his uncle. You don't see that every day.

Castiel's face softens for a moment, seeing her laugh, and touches his palm under his chin. Gazing at the group. He has been analyzing his partners for a long time, looking at their reactions towards each other. Seeing how they emotionally react, happy, sad, angry. And he couldn't figure it out, he couldn't act like them. He had no idea how to act human. Or at least a sort of. But he was glad that his daughter could.  
"Where are we going ?" Asked Sam, slamming his hand on his older brother's back.  
"Where the food is."

Lucy putted on an extra sweater over her head, which made her curls bounce when her head popped through it. Her hair was a mess, so she combed it with her finger. It didn't really help, her hair didn't listen, random pieces of hair peeked out. Lucy got irritated by it, that she just swung her hear forward and made a ponytail. She still had some flyways, and Lucy was trying to tuck them away.  
"Could you stop fixing your hair! God, I don't understand you girls. It is just hair."  
_Okay, done, just done !_Lucy was getting frustrated with her hair and just left it, shrugging her shoulders. She took a deep breath and gave up. It doesn't matter either way, it's not that she will meet her prince charming among the road with these clowns around her.  
"If someone even suggests that I look like a boy, I will stick a knife in your back when you are sleeping." Threatened Lucy stepping closer to Dean.  
He took it, blushed slightly and mumbled. "With what, the only weapon you have is in your pocket, you took when we left the hospital."  
"Creepy. Give me a weapon then, so I can defend myself."  
"And give you the chance to kill me, oh princess, I don't want you to hurt yourself." He sniffled amused.

"Come on ladies, we are all hungry. And Dean, it is a eighteen year old. She can kill you with her hair if she wanted to. Can we now go ?"


	20. What a mighty good man

**What a mighty good man.**

We all walked in the cozy breakfast club, two guys up front and two right behind me. I felt my face burning up, embarrassment.  
Rushing towards the nearest and biggest table on the lot made me confused, and I whipped around and nearly ran into a man.  
"Oh God, I-I am so sor" But I got pulled away from him and was placed in the middle of the red bench. My heart was pounding. _Stupid teenage girl. _That's probably what he thought.  
I left myself imagining numerous scenes where I would come over as a strong independent girl. But it gets narrowed down a bit when you have 8 eyes fixated on you and 4 bodies around you, protecting your flesh.  
It kept me wondering, why are they showing so much effort for me ? It's just not right, I am the one that needed to be more careful with my life, I knew that something wasn't normal about me. But I don't deserve the protection, while they can save so many other lives. Purer lives, lives that have a meaning. Not just an average wallflower, waiting for the opportunity to travel somewhere, no plans, no future, no nothing. Just me, in my old out-worn boots with a pair of denims and a loose hanging top with the 3 relics of the dead.  
I guess my family was better off without me. Here I am, sitting, my life depending on these men I don't even know properly.

Sam crunched his eyebrows together, trying to make sense of everything, step by step. "So you idiots are telling me that we don't have a plan ?"  
"No Bobby, we don't." Dean nodded, picking up the menu and browsing carefully through the great amount of choices.  
"Dean we need to take this case serious as every other one."  
"And YOU are telling me this ?" The sentence sounded as if there was a history behind it. Maybe still going on, I wonder what it could have been. Sam looked hurt, and Dean hided his face in the menu again. Both Bobby and Castiel sat there, waiting for a conversation to start where they could get involved with. But the words were too heavy to simply break through. So they waited.  
And I sat there listening, observing every small thing. A flickering in their eyes, teeth clammed together and the complete silence.  
You could hear a couple talk to each other. Not the words, but the sounds. The vibration of the man's voice; slow and low of frequency. And the women her laugh, luminous and joyful.

The table behind us was being mated. Cups clinging together, forks being placed down on the wooden table, making a dull sound. And the, footsteps.  
Coming closer and closer, in the same rhythm. A pen clicking and a paper swept back.  
"Are y'all ready to order ?" A clear accent broke the deathly silence between us all.  
"Ah yes! You first." Bobby gestured. The girl's eyes were locked on mines, waiting patiently, giving me a soft and forced smile. "I'm going to pass, I'm not that hungry. Just a glass of water." Dean lowered his menu, showing his eyes and nose. "Not on my watch. She'll have some pancakes with..?"  
Still half-hiding behind his chart. "Fine" I sighed agitated. "With some blueberries if you have those."  
She wrote it all down very fast, making the final decision before I could take it back. "Alright…!"  
Her pen twirled and rotated in random movements, scribbling and making scratching noises. Dean is such a little troll, making decisions for me, forcing me to make the decisions he wants to be made. Every time he speaks I just want to rebel against him. A sort of urgent feeling rushing through me, to make him mad. As in a duty to make his blood boil, his heart-rate go up.

Just the same as my brother. Pushing him and irritating him while he is in his hormone fase, where he is ,every second of every day, on edge. Just yell his name and he gets irritated by it.  
My mom always said that I should leave him alone, that I was just the same a few years ago. But such an opportunity is a waste when you let it pass. But brothers and sisters are there for a reason. Crossing the line. Fighting with, or against each other.  
We learn from it, or in my case learn from it and apply it to every person who I want to get on their nerves. And it isn't that often that I can do it. So I do it whenever I can. But, I do care.  
I don't want to hurt him. Just push against his boundaries. Seeing how far I can go, because he crossed my line way more often.  
Everyone ordered their dishes and the waitress almost got hand cramps when she had to note down everything Dean ordered. She looked down at him, a judging face pierced through her fake smile. "That's quite a lot. I guess you want to share it with everyone. Do I have to give some extra plates with it so you can divide ?"  
"Share ?" He struggled. "No, I'm hungry."  
"I'm terribly sorry about that. Just the way yo-" Actually, I was enjoying this. I didn't need to say anything, the waitress did it for me. We all knew what she was thinking in her head. What a great service.

"That's all thank you." Bobby handed over the menu.

He isn't fat, I give him that. He eats constantly, but has a body that tells otherwise. Maybe because of all the fighting and running after demons, that would burn some calories here and there.  
The early sunlight catched his green eyes, full of mystery. A lot more hided in there, more than he makes himself appear.  
Maybe he isn't that bad after all. Yet, still a little troll.

I tapped my finger against the table, and glanced over at the other side. Castiel stared at me, keeping completely still. I wanted to know what he was thinking, normally I could hear him. Little specs of thoughts running from his mind to mine. So I could figure it out by gluing the words together.  
But he closed me out. On purpose, not wanting to let me hear him.  
What could it possibly be ?

That made me think of Sam. He heard me thinking, and answered back. It is the first physical appearance from the whole angel thing, that made me realize that I was not normal. I could only hear my father's thoughts , and he heard mines. And no one else.  
But after that thing happened… He listened. Sam heard it clearly enough to respond back. Or was it again some sort of illusion of Seth ?  
No, far too vivid for an illusion.

The whole meal, there were questions. A lot of questions about me and Seth.  
They were trying to figure out how and when that thing crawled in me, and how it was possible that I am still alive after the maximum of days. Not the best conversation I had while eating, but it kept us all company.  
Me, being labeled. That isn't a first.  
Nerd, weirdo, freak, and the best of all a geek. All labels, none of them are wrong, neither are they right. Never have I been called a half angel, mixture between human and an angel.  
Still, the answers kept unknown by me. Just a few hours ago I didn't even know that I could burn a man with my hand, by letting it glow. And expect for me to answer if I have wings or not.  
"Ever tried to, I don't know, 'spread your wings'?"  
"That is the most stupid disguise for a question like do you fly or do you have a pair of feathery wings attached to your back."  
"Moron" Bobby mumbled against Dean his idiotically question. I leaned back and crossed my arms. "Do I look like a bird to you Dean?"  
Dean opened his mouth, wanting to defend himself. Making himself look less stupid.  
Both strange hands touched the surface of our table, making the fluids in our glasses shake. "Did it hurt ?"  
An unknown man, a bit older than my age, but god. He looked…. well, hot. Dark brown hair, so dark that it almost looks black. Sunlight being absorbed by his dark blue eyes. With strokes of green within.  
If you looked closely you could even see some grey in it. And boy did I look closely.  
He talked to me, asked me a question that finally wasn't about a demon or some sort. I didn't know this man, but he was concerned for some reason.  
"You know, when you fell from heaven." Oh dear God, did he just… he did. That man flirted with me. I felt flustered, but complimented at the same time.  
I couldn't cope with it, so I just grinned. Big and bold, teeth showing, and red cheeks. It hit me. Was he being serious or joking around ?

"Are you suggesting that my daughter is an angel ?" Castiel asked. Squinting his eyes and looking as straight as he always looks. "How did you know?" He whispered.  
The poor guy looked completely confused, not knowing how normal it sounded for us all. The word angel. But it I came in between before Castiel would make it any worse.  
"Okay, I am terribly sorry and I admire your confidents. But speaking like that to me while I am here, sitting between 4 guys, one of them being my dad and the other one being extremely sexy, isn't the best scenario you could do it in. I'm flattered, but if I was you, I would back off. Just for your own safety."  
I knew it sounded ludicrous and rude. When I rethink that sentence, I felt proud. It was short and enough to sound professional.

The guy slowly backed away, trying to look strong. After he disappeared out of our sight I just began to laugh.  
"You know, when fell from heaven." Sam repeated in the most sexy voice he could produce. "Shut up."  
"I don't see why you all find this funny. I don't understand." Castiel still sat there with his disapproving face. " And one being extremely sexy, who ?" Dean asked as if he knew the answer already. "Of course I meant Bobby, I mean look at him."  
Dean straightened his back and said: "Ten points for hufflepuff."


	21. I learned it from

**I learned it from …  
**

"Could you please stop ?"  
"Why that ?" Bobby was looking from left to right to see if Lucy was feeling ok, he didn't want an accident to happen in his car or in front of his car. He also looked up in the mirror to check if the brothers were still following his truck.  
"I just need to check up on something, please." Lucy was begging as if her life depended on it. But what could she possibly be checking up on ? The weather, she could just look out of the window. But her beautiful blue eyes kept him in between. Should he give in ? It is just simply stopping the truck.  
She won. He slowly stopped beside the road and sat himself edgewise and saw Lucy stepping out of the car. "HEY, COME BACK IN ! " But she kept running, sprinting forward.  
The Winchesters adjusted their speed and rode next to Lucy, who was still running. Her breath got heavier, she was getting tired from that, but she kept herself going.  
Sam rolled down his windshield and placed his arm out the car. "What are you doing Lucy ?"  
"Not running away are we princess ?" Dean added, turning his radio down, which was blasting music. A little box appeared from afar. And she kept running, until she reached her point. Huffing and puffing she bended her knees, and supported her hand on them.  
She was exhausted, she ran a big piece of road. She stepped in the old phone box and pressed on the numbers.

(323) 7694-097. And it rang. She wrapped her hands around the phone and pressed it against her ear, listening closely. It took a while, and it sprung to voicemail.  
"Hello, you are speaking with the Emerson famil-" she recognized her own voice, her brother's and her mother's. "-y. Please leave a message after the beep."

Sam stepped carefully closer to the phone box, leaning his arm above his head against the sides and looked through the glass.  
You could see her chest go upwards and downwards fast, but after a while, still hanging on the phone, Lucy calmed down. Something comforted her, and that would be the person on the other side.  
"Lucy, you are" "dead, I know." She hesitated for a second, but hang up and looked at Sam. His puppy eyes showing remorse.  
She felt a huge weight that fell of her shoulders, but it would come back. Lucy knew that too well. She was homesick, wanting to see her family again.  
Sleep in her own bed. Watching TV with her brother, chatting about life with her mother.  
She wanted a home.

Lucy turned around and held her head high. Knowing that this had become her life. Changed, not because of a boy or something romantic where she could flee from her miserable life.  
Her life changed because it depended on it. She stepped out of the box and took a deep breath, facing her doubts about everything. And throwing them away.  
She was one of them now, a victim. Her life lied in their hands, and she couldn't deny it. They are hunters, so no time for emotions. She had to be strong and couldn't show her fears.  
She had to be strong for her family, who have lost her a few days ago. If she called them and they would answer, it would be a disaster and they would be in danger. They can be killed by the things that roams around in this world.  
Lucy looked down at her hand, where the ring reflected the sunlight. It was more beautiful when the moon shone, in day light it looked ordinary.  
She took it off and rotated it any possible way. Remembering every detail of the only memory she had.  
The memory of her family, weeping above an empty grave. With a stone where stood her name. Lucy Emerson. And the date when she was born, next to the date of her death.

She closed her eyes. No time for crying.  
Lucy forced her arm back, and threw the ring far away in the woods. Same with the memories attached to it. It had to stop, being weak and vulnerable. She had to show that she could defend herself, and the first step would be to harden.

"Don't break down." Said Sam, still focusing his attention at the box. "What ?" Lucy shook her head.  
"You are a lot stronger and you have to hang on."  
" I'm not breaking down, just closing off. It's nothing." She tried to look emotionless, her eyes showed the sorrow and pain. Sam pulled Lucy closer, intertwining his hands with hers. It was a friendly gesture with no intentions, and again, an electric shock went through." I can't tell you it gets better, it never will. Look at me and Dean, were fucked." Sam laughed, trying to cheer Lucy up. Even for a second, a smile works in mysterious ways. "But it doesn't get worse. Dean and I are going to fix it."  
Dean honked from his car, opening the doors. "Come on, if I want to see something cheesy I'll watch a black and white movie ! Step in the damn car!"

Sam loosened his hand and waited for Lucy's decision. If she wanted to stay for a little while longer, or leave. A strong wind blew against the hundreds of trees, making both Sam's and Lucy's hair move with it.  
Lucy could have sworn that she saw something move in the woods behind Sam. "Did you see that ?" She pointed at the moving trees. Sam turned around. A loud honk again from Dean which caught Sam's attention.  
But Lucy saw it again, a creature. And this time it ran with big teeth showing and huge eyes. She had to do something before someone could get injured.  
But that fork from the hospital isn't a match for a vampire. She saw the holster of Sam's gun peeking through his plaid shirt and pants. Lucy grabbed it and pulled the lever.  
Everything moved in slow motion, her heart went steady.

….Bang….

The force of the gun was heavier than she thought, yet she still stood straight with both arms stretched out, still pointing the gun at the monster. She saw the vampire drop, and Dean jumping out of the car. Armed and ready to shoot at the creature that wanted to assassinate one of them.  
Castiel appeared next to the vampire and gazed at him. "Look at this." He whispered at Dean.  
A clean shot right between his eyes. "Where in the hell did you learn to shoot ?!" Lucy felt the adrenaline rushing, she stepped closer to look at it herself. It was the first time she shot. Even held a real gun.  
"I saw it in one of those western movies in the motel a while back…! I killed him, maybe he wasn't going to attack. Just simply going to ask the way." Sam grabbed his gun out of her hands. Making sure there wouldn't be an accident happening.  
This creature wasn't going to simply ask the way. It was going to attack.  
But who ? And why ?

"Shoot first, ask questions later."


	22. Lamia carnis

**Lamia carnis.**

The roaring of the impala was beginning to sound like a mighty lion purring loudly and unpredictable, which was a great sound to fall asleep with. But the sudden kept me awake. Also the fact that there lies a dead person in the trunk is a bonus to it.  
The drops of rain started out small and nothing serious. Just for a few moment everything looked peaceful on the road.  
No irritating cars driving. No one to stroll behind, while the demon inside picks random times to struck me.  
Not a single day without these sudden attacks on my arm. Huge stings for brief moments.  
And they become longer and harder to bear with.

Today, when we had a little pit-stop for gas and food, I found out it was spreading.  
My hand seemed to be normal, and functioned as a hand should. But my arm was a purple-bleu. And it spread further to my shoulder through my vital veins. Huge bleu veins. So inhumane. Kind of scary to look at, yet, fascinating.  
But I had to be fear, I was going to die soon. The pain was getting worse, the wound spread… it is just not going so fast as all the other people.  
My arm was the proof. So, I wore a big sweater to cover up any bleu peeking through the bandages.  
It was the best that I kept it for myself, plus, it wouldn't help them at all finding a cure. Just another victim that is a drag to them.  
So, hiding and acting like it is bearable is the least I could do. They are helping me after all.

"Ugh, I can smell that damn thing already. I swear, if there is any bloodstains on my car, I'm not hesitating to kill someone on the spot." Dean opened the windows of the car slightly so fresh air could fill the car.  
It was still raining after a few hours, and the humid air made my hair curl up even harder. At school, I had the same problems. Whenever the air included damp my hair would just blow up. Mostly I would just ignore it, and whenever I passed a mirror I would try to corrugate it. As always, a hopeless mission with no result.  
Al frizzed up and messy I sat there, looking through the windows. Waiting for a moment where Dean would hit the brakes and press the gas pedal again so a loud roar would escape from the engine.  
It is kinda of weird, you know, whilst everything that has happened these past days, I could still 'enjoy' the little things. The constant reminder that you could die any second would normally let a human go crazy, a continual thought about pain, and when it would just stop. But I still notice the little things around me. Like, the luminous laugh of that woman, the moon shining bright, the sounds of an engine, the eyes of every person I meet, the voice of my mother and brother on the voicemail…  
"That's a good thing." Sam mumbled, but loud enough to sound like it was meant to be heard. "What?" I replied, he looked confused. Sam hesitated for a second and scratched his forehead. "Nothing, I thou-"  
"Hey disco-girl over there ! Could you please lower your hair, it's blocking my mirror view." Dean interrupted.  
I knew that my hair wasn't looking great at the moment, but I didn't needed to get updated about it. I looked at him through the mirror, invading the amount of seconds that would've been known as appropriate. But he knew that ,that comment was spot on to get me on my bad side, so it was on purpose.  
I had no idea to get a good comeback, to embarrass him. Bobby would know how to get him back. While being with Bobby in the car, before the shooting, he told me that I shouldn't take their offensive sentences serious__. "The stupid morons don't know anything better to say or answer towards a girl like you." Was his explaining. When he talked about the brothers it was all about how stupid or dumb they were with past decisions etcetera. About the constant discussions and fighting with each other for no 'good' reason.  
It all sounded harsh and repeated. As if he didn't told anything else these past few years about them.  
But there was a moment where he stopped and sighed. When he sighed, I saw a little smile appear, and disappear as fast as it came. It was this kind of smile that I saw from my mother when I won a conversation with my brother about almost every stupid thing. Or when she had to visit me at the principal's office, because I got into trouble with a teacher that handed out an exam with curriculum ,we never saw and she was sure about it that I was trying to rebel against her and trying to get her fired… The list kept on going. But at the end, I was right. They double checked the test where everyone failed at.  
It was found to be that the test was , indeed, unknown curriculum. But because of my 'rudeness ' towards the lady, I got expelled for a day.  
Which I spend watching my TV-series, reading my favorite book for the 5the time and a lot of chocolate and tea. A well spend day.  
My mom even watched some episodes with me !  
It was that proud smile you see just a few times from a person. I bet Bobby was a hell load of proud of the brothers. I could tell that, whenever he talked shit about them; that he meant it to be a great compliment. Or a sign of affection.  
I never heard them saying: "I love you", or "great to see you", not even a "how are you". These hunters don't show a lot of emotions towards each other.  
But that makes it even more special when you notice these thing. A smile, a gniffle, a little laugh, a pat on the back… signs of affection when you are a hunter. Big and bold on the outside, soft a petite on the inside. Or this is just something I'm making up.  
It would be wonderful either way.  
But a respond had to be made. A simple :"Fuck you Dean." Was enough to let him know that he shouldn't go any further in it.  
"Right back at ya." He said while he winked back via the mirror.

Castiel had been flying around the whole drive, to where is a big question for me. Who could blame him ? He's an angel after all.  
'An angel of The Lord' He would say. But that is just a bit too fancy, also , 'The Lord' isn't a word that exists in my dictionary. It never has been, and now, it will never be. Is He even real ?  
Vampires didn't exist in my life, only in books I've read. And now, I've spoken to one and she sniffed my arm. Oh, and shot one right between his eyes.  
And the demo thingy with angels etcetera, I'm still progressing everything. Maybe in time, when something like this pops up, I'll be looking at it with no interest. As if it is as normal as a human.  
But right now, I'm still….. progressing.

Dean honked twice loudly and short. Signals to Bobby who was driving behind us. I wanted to sit in his truck, but the brothers wouldn't let me since I jumped out of the car and ran a good couple of miles just to dial a number and throw away a ring.  
I felt my organs twisting in my stomach and that there was something stuck in my vocal cords. Though I tried to close off everything that was emotionally attached to me, it still hurts to think about it. That I've let my family, the most precious thing in my life, believe that I'm dead. And that I just threw away the ring that my mother gave me.

…How stupid could I be…

Dean hit the brakes too hard again, slamming my head against the drivers chair. "Dean where did you get your driver license ? From a cereal box ?"  
I said while rubbing my forehead. "Calm down princess, we're just dropping you off."  
Dropping me off ? Did they gave up already ? "You too Sammy."  
This was getting rather interesting.  
Dean stepped out of the car into the pouring rain, covering himself with his leather jacket. Sam quickly turned around to check if I was evenly confused as he was and opened his door to follow Dean.  
Of course I was coming with them outside, not because I wanted to. Just the pear pressure I got. Everyone steps out, so do I.  
It was raining a lot heavier and I just couldn't cover myself with anything. So, I stood there looking at the Winchesters. Dean opened the trunk and backed away quickly. "Vampires are the worst !"  
He searched for a while and threw Sam's and my bag on the wet concrete. "Already sick of me ?" I asked him, waiting for a good explanation why he throws my stuff in a puddle.  
"You, Sam and Cas- Where is he ?"  
A soft sound of feathers flapping made me aware that he knew where Castiel was. Right behind him.  
"I'm here, Dean."  
He tensed up for a second and turned around, making the circle bigger so he could get included within it. "Right, now that the whole team has assembled. You all are going to check in a hotel, Sammy you text me the address when you are checked in, and keep an eye on flying princess over here. Bobby and I are going to get rid of this pile of trash." Oh, no. There was no way he was going to clean up my mess. I killed that vampire fair and square, and I had to deal with the consequences. I had to show them that I'm in a good state to do this. I can handle it.  
"No you don't." Sam answered looking at me. He is creeping me out. As if he was always replying to my thoughts.  
He caught Dean's attention, he was alarmed that I was going to refuse that plan.  
"Lucy, it's your body, your problem. But do you really want to dig a whole deep in the rain now ?"  
Maybe, yes. But he made a good point. It is my responsibility, but what if the responsibility was too big for me. In my medical state it wasn't the best idea to be digging holes. It could fasten the process.  
Damn it, why do they sound so stupid but reasonable at the same time ?!  
"If digging a hole is the only thing, yes." I had to try.  
"There is a lot more going on after it."  
"Like what ?"

You could see in his eyes, that he stopped himself from telling it right away. Making choices first about, what and how he could explain it in a child-friendly way.  
"Dean for fuck's sake, explain." I demanded. "Even if you sound like a freaking cooking channel."  
"We're going to lie the body down,  
Season it with some salt,  
Marinade it with some holy water,  
And,… flambé! Perfect vampire-steak. Now, leave and don't get in the way."


	23. 1 word, 2 meanings

**1 word, 2 meanings.**

Castiel, Sam and I walked carefully next to the road, where we saw a little town appear in the distance. Carrying my little bag wouldn't have been hard normally, but it actually asked a lot of energy for me. I was surprised when Castiel took it from me and walked a whole block next to me. I felt something warm inside. A gesture that meant something to me. That he wasn't going to take the easy road and fly away. No, he managed to walk besides me and not make me feel worse than I was already. He made me feel a slightly bit more protected. Yet, Sam checked on me if I was still walking with him.  
Checking if he didn't flew of, and leaving me alone on the road behind Sam.

Still, deep down, I still didn't feel welcome. A burden to them all.

We reached the town, which was beautiful to start with, and couldn't find a simple motel to stay at. Only luxurious hotels with numerous stars on them.  
It was this, or spending a good night sleep on a bench in a park or in the gutter. Which were pretty luxurious too.  
I knew that we were being watched and judged immediately when we stepped in the entrance. We were soaking wet, water dripping from my hair.  
The rain wasn't that cold, it was still a normal temperature outside, but when I stepped inside, you could feel the warmth radiating. The whole room was filled with a pleasant smell and a warm welcome. Only the people weren't that pleasant to look at.  
You could almost read their judgments out loud.  
And I wasn't the only one thinking this.  
We slowly walked towards the register where a well groomed guy welcomed us and asked us if we needed some towels to dry ourselves with.  
Sam bumped his elbow against my arm, making me stumble closer against the desk. I was the one to ask for a room this time, so I did.  
"No thank you, we were going to check in. Are there any rooms available?" The guy stretched his fingers and started typing in random letters and numbers in keyboard. He did it so fast, almost not looking at his keyboard and keeping an eye on us. Pretty impressive.  
Most of the students in my class couldn't even type without pressing their face so close to it, and checking every letter they typed in.  
"There certainly are ma'am. How many?"  
"How many what ?" I said.  
"How many rooms for you and the gentlemen behind you." He was implying that I was going to order a room for my own, or at least two to split one guy up.  
"Just one. And if it is possible, 3 beds please."  
The guy looked at me, eyes opening wide. He couldn't believe that I was sharing a room with Sam and Castiel.  
While he was typing in the order, looking if there was a room left with 3 single beds, he reached his hand out towards mine and looked around.  
Sam and Castiel were wondering around the huge hallway, and pretending no one was looking at the poor drenched men.  
"Ma'am, are you safe ?" I frowned my brows to the guy, he was looking extremely weird at me. Almost anxious. "What do you mean ? I'm safe, yes."  
"You don't have to lie to me. I have a contract signed that I won't tell it further, unless you want me to call forces."  
I was totally flustered because of this man. He wanted to call the cops ? "I'm sorry if you are confused…" I tried to explain. "But were just on a trip with the family." This was the most reasonable excuse that I could think of in 10 seconds. I turned myself around, searching for Sam and Castiel who were watching at a huge beautiful painting of 2 ballerina's dancing on a lake under the full moon.  
I pointed with a my other hand, since the guy was still holding my other hand. "Look, that there is my dad carrying my bag. And that over there is uh-…" I hesitated for a second. Sam saw me pointing at me and smiled back with his half smile. Both of them looked so calm and peaceful. Wet, but kind of happy. "Your brother ?" The man asked.  
"Y-Yes ! My older brother. You know, family trip and all that." I turned back around to face the guy. His face showed embarrassment.

"Oh, ma'am I'm terribly sorry about that. I totally misjudged you. It is just…" He picked up my hand, which he was still holding, and pulled back the huge arms of the sweater. The bandages showed and I retreated my hand carefully from his. Pulling back down the sweater and jokingly said.  
"That is nothing, we were hiking and…. Yeah." I sighed. I couldn't get a good excuse out of it, but the well groomed man understood.  
"If you want me to call service to help you with that arm…" "If you could send me some fresh bandages in the room, that would be good enough, sir."  
The man nodded, and typed again rapidly some random text on his small computer. "You will be staying at room number 203. It is the only room with 2 large bed we've got. I can't arrange anything else. Because of the weather, all rooms with more than 2 beds are occupied. But because it is the only room qualified, we'll arrange a discount."  
He was so kind, to a girl that looked like she belonged somewhere else. I was so grateful that even rich people could be helpful and caring towards people that were not on their level.  
I thanked the man and waved at Castiel and Sam. "The bandages will arrive shortly after you have unpacked. Oh and, you don't have to call me sir. I'm just a student working here on the weekends." He threw me a big smile and picked up the ringing phone.

"What did he say ?" Asked Sam while walking up towards me. "Nothing special, he wishes us a great time at the hotel. Oh and there is a bibliotheca, I saw it on a brochure lying next to his computer."  
Castiel saw that Sam was already with me and picked back up my bag and threw it over his shoulder. "Which room are we going to stay at ?" Castiel asked.  
"Room number 203." I said with a posh accent. I was glad that we were going to sleep for once in a descent bed, in a descent room. "I hope they have Wi-Fi for you Sam." Sam laughed and rested his hand against my back, leading me the way.

We didn't unpack, just dried ourselves up, putting fresh clothes on and were back of to the library.  
The halls were huge, you could easily get lost in here. The dark blue carpet and light beige walls filled the area up with a nice and homey feeling. The crystal lights shone beautifully against the walls, creating stripes of light the whole way through. As if it led you the way on its own.  
We had to go up a few staircases. Who were steep as hell.  
But we finally made it to the top floor of the humongous hotel. It was a large, stretched out hallway. With just one door at the end. No rooms, no exits, just one large wooden door. The door didn't fit the whole theme of the hotel, but it made you wonder, what could possibly be there.  
What kind of room would it be.

_When we entered the room, you could smell the books. New books, just published and shipped to here, never read. Old books, read a thousand times by millions of people. The good experiences of a scene, or a bad one. A new character that was born in the story, and old ones who were written off in the most tragic way.  
The memories and the many different lives people have lived in here floated in the room. Creating a sort of second home.  
One that welcomes you with open arms. One that doesn't judge you by which book you choose and read. And gives you shelter.  
_  
Sam turned his head, facing the side of my face. I lifted mine to meet his. I still got that strange vibe from him, that he could read me. Maybe not understandable, but I felt not alone in my mind. Like a third space. Not the reality, not my thoughts, a third space in between.  
A sort of the same thing with Castiel I had my whole life. He could hear me, I could hear him. Specs of thought.  
Only this time I wasn't sure.

"Lucy, tell me. Why are we here ?" Sam finally asked. It looked like Castiel asked himself the same thing, but a single thought went through his head, and he knew.  
"There comes a day," I said, "where the internet doesn't know the answer."  
"I know that." He said back, still confused. "Yeah, I know, I said that more for my benefit than yours." Of course, he wouldn't know that. He wouldn't know that, whenever he thought I was sleeping and he finally slept, I was still awake. That I used his laptop in the middle of the night, searching for answers about it….about me.  
But why would someone care. He is a normal human being, well, as normal as a hunter can get.  
"The password ?" He asked. _TheSmurf. _It was a spec of thought that crossed my mind, thinking what could possibly be the correct password. How someone that smart could have such a password on his computer. And yes, I've read some files he had stocked. Surprisingly he had no locks on the files.  
Most of the files were victims, dates , and supernatural actions. Also a huge map with all sort of colors and marks on them.  
It was incredibly detailed. From its past till the future.  
I decided that it was enough of private stuff that I had invaded. So I had spent a lot of time searching on the net, what I am. No results, not even stupid questions from people who have smoked too many mushrooms and asked those questions on yahoo answer.

We all set ourselves around a square wooden table, looking at the scratches and candlewax still sticking on it, made me think about how old this table could be. Maybe back in the days when knights still existed vividly, they used it as a table in a loud and crowded pub full of singing and dancing people.  
I bet they didn't know how valuable such a table could be later. Full of memories, full of time. Time that couldn't be tracked. Endless, infinite.  
Who knows how long this table could go, while thousand….no, millions of lives end. Their story ends, while this lives on.  
Maybe not making memories, but certainly absorbing them.

In the corner of my eye I could see a book, almost reaching from a distance. How closer I stepped towards it, how stronger it felt. It was a book about old treasures.  
How convenient, I thought. But the book contained over a 1000 pages. It was heavy and so old. The cover was ripped and plucked and lost all his cover.  
Even the pages were a brown-yellow –ish color. This was going to take a lot of reading before it would be finished.  
But hey, if I could read more than 3 books in one night. Why not try ?  
Sam began searching on his laptop, but after a few hours he gave up and picked up some old books from the shelf. It was a huge stack, to be honest. All those pages combined would have been the double of what I was reading.  
At a certain time the light popped on in the whole library, because it was getting late. "We are 24/7 open, don't mind me when I disappear for a while. Just read on." The women explained to us.  
We three were the only ones occupying it at this time late in the evening. But it was good. No sounds of people talking to each other, people dropping precious book or even couples kissing each other behind a well stacked shelf, not knowing we could all see them…and hear them.  
Castiel slide his chair softly backwards and asked me if he could go. I didn't answer back because I was too busy reading every single word, trying to understand the words of the writer with an IQ higher than the empire state building.  
I heard his wings flap one time, and he was gone.

The frustration rose when it was 4:02 am. We searched the whole night and no result. The book that I was reading wasn't even finished. And you could see that Sam was getting tired. He rubbed his brow and let out a loud sigh.  
He closed his book and closed his eyes for a good 10 seconds and reopened them to start a new one. And I wasn't going to give up that easily.  
Just one simple hint would mean the world to me right now.

It was 4:30 am to be exact, when I got that huge burning sting in my arm. I almost screamed and woke Sam up, who fell asleep around 4:15.  
My breathing fastened quickly, and I squeezed my leg with my hand as hard as I could to contain myself from yelling.  
It may have lasted for a minute, but it felt like hours. Hours of pain and agony. It wasn't bearable anymore, it just got worse.  
I tried to peek a look in my sweater to see if anything was spreading again. Relieved when I saw nothing new.  
Shortly after I checked it I heard those wings again. "Here ." He placed a big mug of, what it looked like, hot milk. I turned my chair and looked up at his wings, they were still showing. It was extraordinary to see them, every glimpse I got through the whole experience didn't bore me.  
But they cleared when I saw them slowly folding.  
"Why were you so long gone ?" I whispered. "I'm an angel of the lord who has to protect everyone. And the heating process of milk….. it began to make bubbles and spilled all over. I may have had a few attempts to get a final result."  
"No you are not." I said. Castiel kneeled to meet my eye length. "You're not an angel of the lord."  
"I am." He replied.  
He didn't understood me. For me he is this character in my life, who wasn't there all the time. It wouldn't have mattered if he was a side character, but he was supposed to be my hero. My dad. And I knew he was trying his best. The only thing I just want him to hear from him is his real title.  
The title he has to earn through years and years of affection and love. Caring and respect.  
I wanted him to hear him say what he really is, a father. Supernatural being or not.  
Him carrying my bag and bringing me mugs of milk where the baby steps. But I wanted him to run.

"Did you lie ?" I asked him. I felt confident even when I had huge bags under my eyes and was not thinking a 100 percent straight. Castiel raised his brow and grabbed my knees with both of his hands when he kneeled down, searching for some balance.  
"I'm an angel, I don't sleep."  
"I know that," I said, " I meant if you have lied to me about what happened. The whole glowing slash healing thingy."  
"What do you want to know specifically, because….." "Jeez, I don't know, maybe why there is an actual print of my hand on his wrist." I looked at Sam to check if he was still sleeping. "You lied about it, and how do I know ? Because you closed your mind off for me. Like you did 2 seconds ago, you have been away for a long time. And it is the only way to keep me from knowing the truth, and it is not fair. "  
I knew it was totally of topic and it had surprised him. But he lied then, and he lied now. The wound, the demon, my angel glowing, it is enough to bear with already. Just, some answer would help you know.  
I don't know who I am anymore for half of the time. Shooting people, hunting this demon inside me.  
It is not what I do every day, like a habit or so. I was this girl, sarcastic, anti-social most of the time, and caring for my family. Not a crazy hybrid of a human and an angel, that shoots someone without thinking right between the eyes.  
Castiel tried to stand up, but I grabbed his supporting hands on my knees and squeezed them as hard as I could so he couldn't stand or even, fly away.  
"If you don't want to tell me, then FINE. You are going to answer it sooner or later. Dad, why were you so long gone ?"  
"I've checked up on someone and did my duties as an angel."  
I wasn't even going to spend more time to interrogate him any longer. He told me something, good enough. But I will get the answer I need in time, if I have some time extra left…

It was too late, both Sam and I weren't awoken enough to continue the investigation on the demon and/or the little box.  
I gently laid my hand on his arm, and pushed him slowly, so he could wake up. Sam's head was resting on a pile of books and he covered his head with both of his arms, breathing in and out heavily.  
"I think this is enough for today." Sam said.  
"You think ? You were almost drooling on those precious old books." I said.  
"Are you ok ?" He looked worryingly at my face, which was probably the most horrible thing he had seen next to demons and old ladies. I would have been looking pretty bad since I was feeling worse and worse. And the sleeping wasn't being granted, all the nightmares kept me awake.  
"If I could get a dime for every time he asked me this question…, I'm fine. Maybe just a little tired." Sam gently grabbed the side of my face and came closer. I wasn't feeling well, and I wasn't thinking straight. I had no clue what to expect from him. So I just tensed up and looked him straight in the eyes, like a scared little girl.

_My sweater !  
_I rolled down the huge neck of the sweater while reading and forgot about it. Maybe he noticed something of it, and I hope he did not.  
He tried to tilt my head but I had to restrain it, although he was stronger than me, he didn't push my face. Castiel, also, stepped a bit forward to look at what Sam was doing.  
Sam tried to get a look on the wound, and as far as I knew, the wound hadn't been spreading the last time I've checked. Yet, it looked like he saw it.  
I was about to say something to him, to keep him from looking at my neckline and shoulder, but the library-women interrupted us at the best moment.  
"Oh-oh, oh, my apologies, I'll leave right away !" Sam leaned back on his chair and focused his eyes on the clock. "No, I think it's time we should head to our room. So you can get yourself some rest. We are sorry if it was our fault that you had to stay up that late."  
"That wasn't the case at all !" She smiled and waved off the apologies of Sam. "I'm actually not a morning person, so I stay up all night, but sleep when the sun rises in the east."  
We both got up from our chairs and collected the books to put them away. I kept the book where I was reading in for the last. To memorize its name.  
The woman must have seen me inspect the book's cover. "You can loan that from here, 3 days maximum, I will write it down in our system for you. Now, get some well-deserved rest. "


	24. FBI

**FBI.**

I could still feel Sam's hand pressed against my back when he opened the hotel's room door. It was a simple sweep of a card through a crack and a digital sound to confirm the lock was open and he could turn the doorknob.  
We immediately saw that the lights were turned on and we could hear numerous voices talk in the room next to the bathroom.  
Castiel stopped me from walking in and looked at Sam. I saw him searching for his gun which was still behind his belt.  
These hunters never walk around unarmed… The only thing that surprised me is, that he gave me the gun and pulled out a knife from nowhere.  
Sam went in first. If it were burglars, it were pretty stupid ones to invade a room and keep the lights on.  
_Fresh bandages. _It popped in my head, maybe it were just people from the hotel cleaning the room.  
Yet, I wasn't going to risk anything.

The heavy gun in my hand made me feel even more vulnerable than I already am.  
There were 3 doors, one that led to the bathroom, one were you reached the bedroom and the other one was the kitchen.  
All of us knew that the bathroom wasn't the one were the burglars or staff were. But we could hear noises come out of the other two rooms.  
Which made it tricky to find out which room to 'attack' or inspect first. Yet, Sam and Castiel each pushed their shoulders against one of both doors and agreeing nodded at each other.  
I got a tighter grip on the gun, not knowing what I was supposed to do if one jumped on me. Maybe I would just shoot again as I did before, or would just get stabbed.  
I was hoping for the first one. Just getting everything together and, shoot.  
So, I held my breath and forgot how slowed down the time could be at these moments of suspense. Normally, I was safe. At least, I thought I was, just to calm myself down a little. Both doors opened and I could hear Sam throwing punches in the dark while Castiel stepped in the other room.  
A vague blue appeared from the half-open door were Castiel entered. This meant that the robber or staff member was watching the TV.  
It was getting weirder and weirder,  
and then I saw Dean flying across the room. Blood dripped out his nose, Sam got him good. "Dude, relax it's just me."  
"What the hell Dean," Sam said, " I could have shoot you." Dean swept his hand across his cupid bow, smudging the blood all over his fingers and lips.  
"But you wouldn't." Dean replied. As Sam pulled his brother back on his feet I saw Castiel walking back out of the room with Bobby right behind him.  
Everything seemed to be fine, but I heard the front door of the room unlock out of its own. Normally a staff member would knock first and call out their name and ask if he/she could proceed to enter the room.  
Maybe it was Crowley or one of those vampires, searching for revenge. I turned myself around sharply and pointed the gun at the first sight of life moving behind it. "FREEZE" I yelled to startle the whole group.

The door wasn't even completely open, so I couldn't see the person's whole face, but the thing I saw were dropped bandages. They dropped and rolled towards me and were stopped by my feet. I slowly looked at the out rolled bandages and knew what I actually did.  
My mind was a mess, and I wasn't thinking clearly, which was the first time I ever noticed it. Normally I'm dreaming or a little out, but never a mess.  
As if I didn't know how to speak for a split second.  
My hands shook uncontrollably, I had a huge case of adrenaline rushing through my body.  
Everyone looked at me holding this gun that I held before, shaking like a leaf.  
I picked up the bandages and stepped out of the hotel room to confront the person who I almost shot their brains out.  
I tried to talk but noticed that I was still holding the gun, not pointing at her, but I had it in my hand which made her fear. I saw her breathing heavy and there appeared sweat on her forehead. Which maid even opens a door at 5am ?  
Dean came closer and patted on my back. "Damn kids, always playing with fake guns that their grandfather bought for them." He yanked the gun out of my hand and ticked against it to make it look like it was a fake replica of a real one.  
Bobby joined the group. "Oh well I'm sorry, I'm not the one who bought a pink Barbie doll for your niece !"  
I saw that both of them were trying to save me from the police they would possibly call. I tried to play along. "Yeah, I haven't played with those for years, where do you even get the idea to buy one ?"  
"They grow up so fast." Dean said while giving the woman, who was calming down a bit, a full on flirty-smile. "Indeed," the woman replied, smiling back at Dean. She totally fell for his smile, how he does it I don't know, and I don't care. But I was surprised that she actually let everything fool her just by that smile, because you could see that the gun was real as it could be. A real gun, that could shoot real people, and she looked away from it just because a man smiled.  
I want to call her stupid for it, but I don't blame her. She looked happy, and maybe I envied that.

"Is that for my granddaughter ?" Said bobby, pointing at the bandages I was holding. "Yes sir, these were the best we had left, the storm is getting worse and worse. We are still hoping for a ray of sunlight."  
"Let's pray to God that the sunlight will come through in a couple of hours. Because a family trip isn't going to be fun when the weather holds us back from stepping outside."  
Bobby looked at the woman walking through the hallway and waved one last time before shutting the door.  
I felt enormously bad for my mistake and I saw it in Bobby's eyes that he was disappointed in all of us. At least, I thought he was.  
"Damn kids with fake guns ?" He said looking at Dean, piercing his eyes through his. He gave a simple tick on his head making everyone in the room awkward.  
"And FREEZE ?! no that's totally normal to say."  
I had to say, why I yelled it was a mystery for myself. "Who even gives a child a loaded gun ?" Bobby raised his voice. Now Sam was getting the full load of angry-Bobby. "She isn't a child ?! She is even a few years older when my dad gave me a gun, JUST because I had a nightmare and thought there was a monster under my bed. She can handle it!"  
"You think this is handling it, boy ?! Look at her !"  
And there I was, between a fight that was being fought because of me. And they didn't yell at me, but at each other.  
"It isn't even loaded." Sam said. Dean checked the magazine of the gun, which was empty.  
So what if it was actually a real burglar or demon, and I wanted to shoot. But nothing would come out.  
"So you gave her an empty gun ? What if she got attacked ?"  
Bobby was right, and you saw that both Sam and Dean were thinking about it. I wasn't save on my own, with or without a weapon.

"You boys seriously need to think a little bit further than your little squirrel brains tell you right away. I don't want to see a scratch on her."  
"I though-" Said Sam.  
"You didn't think well enough." He sounded grumpy and a lot of disappointment you could hear from his voice and choices of words.  
But I felt really bad, it wasn't his fault. It was no one's fault.  
"It wasn't his fault. Neither was I or anyone in here. I think we're just tensed up because of all of this." I said, while I tried to hold back a huge yawn.  
Dean scratched his forehead and slightly smiled. "Why are you smiling ?"  
"Freeze." He mumbled. I was shocked that he even could laugh with this, after I almost caused a huge drama in a hotel.  
And he was just laughing it off. Bobby lowered his voice and mumbled a few words.

We all transformed the luxurious benches in beds for everyone. I even suggested that I would sleep on one of those.  
But there wasn't even a chance they would let me. Which was kind of them.

After changing clothes one by one, we were ready to finally get some descent sleep.  
I was trying to make myself comfortable while Castiel dimmed the lights in the other rooms. It was weird, to see them all.  
Making themselves ready to sleep in one room. Was I supposed to feel violated that there were men in the room. Or was I supposed to enjoy it ?

Either way, it was neither of those. But it was quite pleasant to be surrounded for once.  
Bobby sat himself on the side of my bed and inspected me, just sitting with some pillows behind my back and waiting for the lights to go fully out.  
But I was still concerned about the fight they made because of me. Even though they didn't talk about it, it was still stuck in my mind.  
I felt actually guilty.  
He was expecting from me to speak first so it tried to find something useful to ask. "Any plans for this thing?" I asked on a low calm voice, it was mostly the tiredness that made my voice sound like this. So I scraped my throat and scratched the newly rolled bandages around my arm.  
I did it myself after washing most of the blood that must have escaped earlier. The blood was also a new thing.  
They asked if they could help, but then they would notice those huge bleu veins who almost turned purple by now.  
"What do you want me to answer ?" He made it clear enough. I wasn't going to get a positive response.  
I hid my arm under the sheets and waited a second to ask something else. "Are you really mad ? I mean, you actually sounded angry about the fact that I had a unloaded gun."  
"Well yeah think about when someone would actually hurt ya. You could not protect yourself."  
"But you were mad when you thought I had a loaded gun."  
"It would have been a disaster if you shot that woman in this hotel." Bobby made a frustrated cough and took of his outworn baseball cap.  
I think he saw the point I was trying to make. "Now I'm confused." He added.  
A shock made me aware of my arm and I tried to hide it as well as I could by trying to fake cough. It wasn't the best idea, but it worked for me.  
Still making the sounds of utterly pain, but not making anyone suspicious about it. "You know," I started. Bobby looked back up at me, seeing his tired eyes made me shorten the sentence I wanted to make. Short and bold. "if someone could learn me how to shoot or protect myself with a device I c-"  
"Not even in your dreams, princess." Said Dean.  
It was the fastest he had ever reacted towards me.  
Why couldn't I? I was getting irritated because of Dean's so called ignorance. Not wanting me to do anything. If he isn't going to learn me how to shoot etc. Then I'll find another way.

Bobby chuckled a little bit and rubbed his wrinkly hand across the fabric covering my legs. I was getting fond of him, at first, he was an old grumpy bastard, but now, in a good way.  
He was most likely the first one who I was getting fond of. It felt like he understood a bit about me, and wanted me to understand everything that makes a hunter a hunter.  
Not the learning part as in ; shooting, demonic rituals or whatever. But the showing part.  
How mad he could get, the fury almost jumping out of his eyes. The sarcastic answers he could just spurt out.  
But also… the other aspects of it. The good ones perhaps.

Castiel got through every light in every room, and was about to turn of the last light illuminating the room we were in.  
"Hold on boy, I'm not that fast anymore." Bobby said while pushing himself of the bed. He slowly walked towards the other bed and almost threw himself in it.  
He was the one that suggesting that he would sleep on one of the couches. But even when he just almost snapped both boys necks, they were still looking out for him. He got the bed, while the boys slept on the couches near our beds.

There wasn't a good night, neither a sleep tight. Just complete silence when Castiel turned off the light.  
I tried to lay as silent as I could, noticing every breath, every ruffle and every sough.  
Even when I tried to fall asleep, I felt like something was missing, but my eyes were getting heavier and heavier.  
I heard a couple of breaths near my face. Too tired to lift my head, or open my eyes I just moaned softly.  
A hand reached for my ear and softly stroked my hair, fingers getting caught in my knots. He had some hesitations, but shortly after I felt a kiss on my nose, and the best 2 words he had ever said to me.  
"Good night." I heard his wings flap twice and I knew he was gone, of to anywhere and nowhere.


	25. Nachtmahr

**Nachtmahr.**

This time I wasn't sitting, I was standing in front of this huge mirror. In a hollow place, that felt too real.  
The air was thin, and when I looked around in this real-looking space, I saw no beginning. Nor an end.  
It went on and on, forever… an infinity.  
I saw my own reflection appear, yet, it didn't feel like me. Cuts and bruises, everywhere I could look. But it didn't hurt, actually, I felt I huge burning feeling. As in, I needed something. Furious for some reason, and I didn't know why.

I heard footsteps in the distance, but too far to see if there was someone or something there.  
I closed my eyes and felt the fear piercing through my thoughts. What was out there, made me scare.  
Breathing in and breathing out the impossible air I was extracting out of nowhere, but at the same time it felt like my lungs were filled with water.  
Full, and couldn't get anything more in it. Thoughts of everything and nothing jumped in my mind, and I was drowning in it.  
So, I opened my eyes, just to see this man stand beside me.  
He wasn't the same man I saw in my nightmare before. But he smiled at me and placed a finger on his lips, telling me to keep something silent.  
Yet my eyes never met his real ones, only the projection of his eyes on the unbelievable big mirror. But my mouth kept itself shut, no shouting or screaming although I wanted to, it almost felt like my lips were sewed together.

But what was I supposed to prevent from saying ? An introduction wouldn't have lacked to the whole nightmare thing.

I tried turning my head, merely it was stuck, I couldn't move. The only option was looking, straight forward, and breath.  
_Let me go, who are you, what do you want,…. _All these questions being unanswered and buried deep down in my mind that were never going to see the surface. But he felt so familiar, as if I knew him. And I bet he knew me, otherwise he wouldn't just stand there gesturing to keep my mouth shut.  
I kept inspecting myself in the mirror, bruised, broken and lost. Was this me ? Or merely just a bad dream, illusion or fantasy ?  
The madness went even madder when I saw these huge drops of liquid flowing through the room, barely touching my skin. They were perfectly rounded, just dancing around not touching anything, or were they ?  
I tried to contain my confusion mixed with every kind of fear that would exist. And there I saw I, the man moved closer and closer to the mirror, trying to get another glimpse of me, from a zoomed in perspective of the mirror.

The drops began to shake or even vibrate on the spot, they were lining up, filling the infinite room with strips of liquid. All perfectly lined.  
The man tensed up and looked one more time at me, more carefully know.  
It wasn't my intention to do this, I think, it wasn't even me who did it. But, I raised my hand and slightly pointed at him, tears flowing from my eyes, not because I was feeling sorry, but I felt free.  
The drops seemed to react to me and formed a huge boxes around the man who closed his eyes.

…_You wait little girl…_

__The sun peeked through the golden curtains and formed a line of light right on my face. Sweat, everywhere, I was drenched.These dreams don't tell me anything, they don't frighten me, but make me wonder what sort of story is behind them.  
Everyone was still sleeping, and Castiel was nowhere to be seen, so I had to be quiet. But I already had 2 attempts, and that ended up waking Sam up, or me trying not to hurt myself walking carefully through a room.  
So I picked up the Sam's laptop that lied next to the bed and turned it on.  
If it makes any sound I will throw it out of the window.  
Safe, I could set the sound settings off before the starting up sound began its symphony. I logged myself in with the password and started typing in Google Search for some stories about floating liquid, but I ended up, not on purpose, reading a whole chapter of the last avatar.  
The next search: Man drowning in floating liquid.  
So no good results there, maybe if I typed in; how to move liquid with your mind.  
Some of my favorites:  
- Satisfying, Harmless Revenge on Your Neighbor with Liquid ASS  
- Thoughts, liquid crack, I move litres like.. – Can't Fool Me - Rap Genius  
- Get to Know the Team: Liquid`FLUFF

I was getting frustrated at everything around me, so I set the laptop in the other room, without waking up everyone. A great applause to me.  
And closed the door behind me, and sat myself down at the fancy table with the windows wide open. Letting a soft morning breeze come in.

I was really disappointed in Google now. Then I remembered, depression…. That's it !  
One of my classmates noticed it during humane science a while ago, the teacher asked us what depression is and what it would feel like.  
There was this group of popular girls talking about how 'depressed' they were because they weren't accepted in society and that they felt like being in a dark room, not being noticed or that the people around them turned off the lights.  
But there was this one guy, mostly known as the weird one that always sat alone in front of the classroom. I didn't call him that, because I was the same.  
That day, he made a good point, he raised his hand and got the word from the teacher.  
"Well," He said with deep crispy voice," it is like drowning. Except, you can see everyone else around you breathing."  
My jaw literally dropped when I heard him say this, for months I hadn't heard him speak a full sentence. But the words he used back then to describe depression was the most intelligent answer I heard in that class.  
That guy knew what it meant to be depressed, he has been there, done that, and survived in a way I couldn't even dream about.

- depressed woman drowns man -  
About 2,510,000 results (0.58 seconds)

Grand, I was about to seek for a needle in a haystack that was bigger than the freaking ocean.  
As I sighed and pressed my lips together I clicked on the first link. It was about a mother who convicted twice of drowning her infant son in 1988.  
It was a sick story to read, and they had a lame excuse. That it all happened because this mother depression affected her and made her do this.  
This is never a good excuse, what she did was wrong, sick or not.

The search wasn't giving me any answers and I was about to read my last story when Dean walked in the room and yawned loudly.  
"Creating a profile on a dating site, are we ?" Sam entered the room, looking like he just have woken up, same for Dean.  
"Of course." I answered him with a smile.  
"Single 18 year old half human girl slash half angel. Favorite food: a)Something with salmon Hates: a) Long walks on the beach. Searching for a non-demon, vampire, werewolf,…. All kind of supernatural beings. Let this angels fall for you now ! Call me: 1-800-FUCK-YOU."  
Dean snapped his fingers and said; "That's a shame that you don't like long walks on the beach, you are way out of my league."  
"Good to hear."  
Dean rested both his hands on my shoulders to look at the computer screen. "Don't you think that is a risky photo ?" That caught Sam's attention, did he really think I was doing that ? Both of them were now looking over my shoulders like frightened parents who think their teenage boy would search the word starting with p and ending with n.  
Possession.  
"What do you got ?" Asked Dean. I wasn't going to turn off the computer or close the tab before he could read it, firstly because it wasn't my laptop, second of all… Because I was kind of helping myself understanding those strange nightmares I'm having.  
Dean was caught off guard with a simple greeting. "Hello, Dean."  
There he was again, but he was wounded, a piece of glass was stuck in his cheek.  
I hurdled myself over to him and looked at the blood dripping around the glass. "It heals, Lucy."  
How can I know that for sure, oh right, angel powers. "Can I at least get it out of there ?" He nodded. I shivered before taking a deep breath and pulling it out, the flesh stretched a little with the glass but let it go when I saw him pulling his head back with a painful smile on his face.  
"Sorry" I said while throwing the piece in the bin. I ran in the bathroom to get some tissues, and pressed it against him to soak up the remaining blood.  
"What happened, dad ?" Dean cleared his throat, I know it sounded weird that word, both for him and me. "Lucy, I-"  
I crossed my eyes for a second. "Alright never mind then. Is Bobby up yet ?" I peeked through the open door and saw him putting on his cap. "Good morning." I said. "Oh, Dean, would you mind closing your tabs the next time?"  
"Again ?!" Sam sat himself down and started to check his systems, while Dean looked at me with every inch of hatred for what I've said.  
However, in a pleasant way.

"Stop it, both of ya children." Bobby complained with a joyful sound.  
My heart stopped for a brief moment, and I had to gasp for air. Pain kept rushing, blood flowed, and I knew the bandages weren't going to hold it longer.  
This party had to end, I wasn't going to refresh the bandages every second. That wasn't going to keep on going well.

"Hey."  
"Hi" I almost chocked in air because of him. Sam leaned against the door of the bathroom, where I stood, hiding. Hiding my bandages I was going to refresh because of that sudden attack….again. "How are you ?" He asked, crossing his arms.  
I felt the cold air at my bandages, and I thought I was having a fever. I felt sick. "Fine. Everything ok with the systems on your laptop ?"  
Trying to avoid eye contact was a lot harder, and I couldn't focus on a point ,but : or me, or him. And I was having trouble controlling my breath.  
Instead of misguiding him he kept standing there just staring at my back with this weird look on his face. He released his hand to wave with it at me. "Need help with that ?" It would have been a lot easier to tell him to back off, if he hadn't turned me around so I faced him. He wasn't asking, more demanding. Because it wouldn't change anything if I said no.  
His hands were buried in my shoulders and he was trying to look through me. I was still trying to come over as 'fine', what isn't easy.  
_Help, search, hiding ,words_,… Could he be more loudly with his thoughts ?  
"Lucy, how are you ?"I was about to answer the same question I did 3 minutes ago with the same reply, but he interrupted to make it clear he wasn't going to play games. "No bullshit this time. I saw what you searched, you didn't even try to hide it."  
Well, no shit. It isn't anything big. "I'm investigating some things."  
"But look at this, Lucy. Depression, murder, suicide, water, drowning ? I don't think you understand that, you could- can survive this."  
He was wrong, everything but right. Sam sounded actually scared, maybe thinking that I was planning on doing something barbaric to myself.  
"Relax." I shook of both of his hand, making him clear that I was irritated. But he couldn't comprehend it. "Something like that will only be done …. Ju-I'm just searching."  
Dean passed the room and saw me standing there, and probably had heard the last sentence. "For what ? Your golden slippers, princess ?"  
"And you your _manhood_, Dean ? Looks like you have to go on for a little while though."  
If I went to far, or not, I got him good. Maybe now he would stay silent about taunting me for a good hour.  
Sam patted my shoulder, and made me cringe and still gasp silently for some air.

It was strange to grab for air, needing in so hardly. It is something we don't appreciate in enough. What would happen if oxygen would just disappear for 5 whole seconds on this tiny planet ?  
A lot, let me remind you. Earth will crumble, we would instantly burn because we aren't being protected from the sun, and even death to a lot of organisms.  
I needed this air, which I could not grasp enough. I felt the ground fade beneath my feet and I felt like it would take me in the darkness in front of my eyes. My feet were shaking like a little new-born lamb. This was not a simple hell-related thing with my arm, oh no.  
I was having an….

"Anxiety attack?"  
"Yes," The old man confirmed. He shone this enormously bright light in my eyes, moving it from the left to the right. And I had to follow his weird snaps when he switched sides. "it is an umbrella term that covers several different forms of a type of common psychiatric disorder, characterized by excessive rumination, worrying, uneasiness, apprehension and fear about future uncertainties either based on real or imagined events, which may affect both physical and psychological health A young woman like her has to go through a lot lately. Now, Lucy, is that your name child ?"  
I nodded slightly.  
"I would prescribe you some medicine, but I'm not informed by any other attacks that you have had. Is she prescribed for her wound ?"  
"Yes, we have contacted other doctors and got the medicine in her suitcase, thank you for being so considering."  
"Ah, yes, you have a good father right there child." He clicked his pen and started scrabbling some dates and types of medicine that would 'heal', my sudden disorder-attack.  
I wasn't concerned that the doctor might have checked my wounds and have told everyone, I was more shocked by the fact that he knew Castiel was my father. I can't tell myself if I look like him or anything, and we don't exactly look close to each other family-wise.

The kind old men left the room, and I noticed almost immediately that it was too quite.  
"Where are they ?"  
Both Bobby and Castiel waited a brief moment to respond. "Crowley, they went looking for him." Bobby said.  
"But wai-, they can't just simply find the bastard and…what are they going to do ? Do they really think that the box would hover above his head, so they could just grab for it ?" I was irritated that they left without me. I wanted to search for it too, and they didn't even know where they could find Crowley.  
"Lucy, stay calm. You need to lie down." Castiel said.  
"No, I am not going to just go and lie down because I just fainted. It was nothing serious ,the doctor said it himself. Plus, I could maybe help out a little by searching further in that old book I loaned from the library yesterday night."  
"You don't have to do this, you can rest while me and the boys find that bastard."  
"NO! No, don't make me reconsider my abilities. I can do this! Please. Don't you dare cut me out of this, for my own safety. Because that's absolute bullcrap."


	26. Voodoo child

**Voodoo child.**

I got myself a little piece of heavenly pie that was the last one on his plate in the huge restaurant in this never-ending hotel.  
Magic I tell you, how else could hallways keep on stretching out and have such options like a restaurant, library, a bazillion rooms, and the list could go on forever.  
To make it myself easier, I putted the fork in my mouth and walked towards our room to grab the book, and try to find that library again.  
The cold metal between my teeth tasted like pennies. Or even better, that look-alike blood taste.  
Praying that I won't lose my dignity by walking like this and possibly falling I was humming my way through the empty hallways.  
I couldn't believe that almost no one was roaming through here too, it is like an endless adventure. Plenty new rooms to explore, but not enough time for me.  
So, I hurried myself a seat in the wonderful place where I didn't have to worry about burglars or sudden attacks of demons because, which godforsaken demon would think a girl with these injuries could spend time reading in a silent library.  
Maybe not the best idea I had in a while. But the options weren't this big, it was either sitting here with worries, or sitting in the room with Bobby and Castiel who worried about me a bit too much.  
I mean, I appreciate all of this, I am hurt indeed. Does that mean I have to get labeled as total zero ?  
Sure, I do have something in me that makes me lose my sanity every once in a while and I haven't had a good night sleep for about a week or two.  
But I did have a record today with sleeping for a solid 6-7 hours. Winning.  
Yet, I may not be the most stable at the time. That sure doesn't mean I can't help out. I'm not total useless, look at me. Reading all about ancient treasures and their stories behind them, and I just had an 'anxiety attack'.  
I hope they won't cut me out of the frame.

This time I didn't sat myself down on that beautiful historic table, I found this incredible corner in the library where I was surrounded by stacks and stacks of books.  
It was the most intimidating spot, all these people, writers. Their books are on display here, they reached their goal to put their book on a shelf.  
That must feel wonderful, achieving a goal like that. You spend hours of your life typing a different combination of 26 letters.  
It's a huge deal, how you can emotionally move someone just typing letters forming words, forming sentences, forming a story.

However, I was getting sick and tired of this book. Not completely, it was utterly intelligent and made me linger on. But the pages kept appearing, stories kept appearing, it just didn't stop.  
And I was almost desperate to find at least something that had a connection to that stupid box, or even the nightmares I had been having.  
I was at page 557 and the story was heartbreaking, but not problem solving.  
About a sailor who worshipped this imaginary women in the water that sang to him every night and day.  
The songs kept on flowing in his ears, and he began to get attracted to several things. Mostly water and tragic tries to kill himself in his bathtub.  
One night he asked the mysterious woman to stop singing for a brief moment to tell her name. And she just disappeared, the songs stopped. The man started developing a serious case of depression.  
And after a while, he also disappeared. No one knew where and how he could fly of without being found.  
Only one thing was sure, he left this world to seek his woman in the water, and crave for her name, so he could whisper it one time before his still-beating heart and soul could leave in peace.  
People believed that he still roamed around rivers and oceans, seeking desperately. And the only way he could be freed without knowing the woman's name, was diving in the most dark and deep place on earth.  
Find a rectangular stone-cut treasure and carve your own name on it. When you did that you would be blessed by the sea creatures living in there with the woman's voice.

At least, that was what the legend told. I didn't believe any bit of it.  
It also said, that whenever a young adult walked along the waters and would here a tune sung by an angelic voice. He was bound to drown in that life.

I closed the book, when it clapped I could smell how old it actually was. It had this dusty, musty smell. I couldn't cope with the air it took and had to cough the dust out of my lungs.  
Laying the already heavy book on my lap and using it as a plank to support my plate with pie on wasn't the most trustworthy object.  
But I had to take a bit of it, it was lying there for too long already and I kept looking back and forth to it, I lost my concentration because of a piece of cake. How pathetic could you get.

I was already halfway on that cake when I heard the main door of the library open.  
I was cautious, and wasn't planning on pulling a gun on someone again. More because I learned from that accident a while back, however, also because Bobby took it away from me.  
I knew that Castiel was looking out for me, even if he wasn't in the same room, he was here.  
Footsteps echoing in the empty room where I was sitting. I placed my feet on the ground, but kept sitting straight on the chair. Just making myself ready to run when I had to.  
Run and hide, a game that would never get old.

A tip of a combat boot peeked behind the bookcase, and I already knew. His checkered shirt ran towards me. And I thought I was going to be shouted at, but instead he grabbed me close. Burying my face into his wide chest area. Not really being sure where that came from, I accepted it.  
He was huge in comparison to me, and I felt like a was being sucked in.  
Ready to push him of I still held on for a second longer. It was a long time I got attacked like that. And I was more surprised by who attacked me.  
Holding me tight, almost smothering me, I let my arms hang loose.  
That was the memo for him to know that he had to let go. And he seemed more surprised that he hugged me than myself.

That sudden attack threw me of my feet, but also threw my hair in front of my eyes. It was a hot mess.  
He still held my arms, but I cramped up when he ran his fingers through my hair, to control the huge curls.  
"Sorry. You all right ?" Sam asked.  
"I'm fine." I said. "Although, since when can I walk through walls?"  
Sam didn't respond to it, he didn't like that joke, at all. He even looked offended by it.  
"C'mon, I'm alive and well. Do I have to ask you the same thing ?"  
"Just glad you are ok."

It was a pleasant sound, hearing him out of breath. It looked like he ran all those stairs and endless hallways to storm through an empty library to find me. I didn't know what he would expect me doing, but he was relieved that I was reading a book in here.  
So was I, glad that he didn't get hurt or even killed by that monstrous Crowley. But boy, did I wanted to let that hug last longer.  
A desperate one, that is what it felt like. Something where someone craved for.  
It felt if, when I would haven't been here he would actually collapse, thinking that that faint was something more. My last breath on this earth.  
My last look at him and everyone else important that day. Blame me, but I felt wanted.  
I was the one that thought no one noticed me in a way where they would get worried, My relatives are close to my heart, but never someone else.  
That made me feel warm inside and I became bashful. The way he stood there, looking me right in the eyes, not laughing with jokes about me that are meant to place me in a bad way. Sam was observing me, but what could you possibly say to that ?

I fell into the chair again after he picked me up and almost hugged me to death. And he still had me in his sight, almost as if he pinpointed his eyes on me.  
"We need to talk about this, Lucifer." He rolled up his sleeve, letting me see his bare arm where I scarred him. My print was still there, but looking a bit more clear. It was kind of fading, and thank god for that. I had it hard enough to know that I did that. I literally burned his arm with my hand.  
"I know Castiel explained to you that, whatever you did then, was to so called 'heal' me."  
"Yeah, And that was what I exactly did, didn't I ?"I asked Sam. "Yes, well yes-but look at this. Do you know how Dean and Castiel met each other ?"  
"I bet it wasn't on a hot summer evening with peaceful sounds of birds passing by the riverbank."  
"Close." Sam said with a crooked smile. He was trying to hold back a laugh, and he did that well enough. The conversation was going to be a lot more serious than I thought. "Your father raised my brother from hell, he got there because of-, I'll just tell you long story short."  
"That sounds good." I said pleased.  
"He literally grabbed Dean by his shoulder, and left his handprint there. It looked like a huge burned spot when I saw it.  
I don't know how to put it, he just didn't help him or 'healed' him. He left a piece of him with Dean, same way of Dean to Castiel.  
He even admitted that he and Dean share a more profound bond."  
"Kind of gay-sounding, but what do you mean, left a piece of him with Dean. Because I'm not following quite yet."  
"The day that we tried to –" "Exorcism that thing out of my arm, didn't succeed and I almost burned your arm of. Yes, still fresh in my mind."  
I wasn't lying, it still was. As if it happened a few seconds ago.  
That moment was one of the few things I couldn't shake off. All those nightmares, attacks, deaths I saw… I still had those wandering around my mind too, however, not as vibrant as the whole glowing and burning someone. And not just someone. I burned him, or whatever I did.  
"If I didn't know any better I would just say I am radioactive." "But you are smarter than that. But get this, what if you did this, and maybe- would've -."  
He let out a loud sigh. "It is a lot harder to explain." "A lot easier in your mind isn't it ?" Sam was for a split second a bigger mess than I was, which delighted me, but also worried me. I puzzled all those pieces of words together and tried to re-explain the thing he was trying to say properly.  
"So if I get it wrong, you can correct me anytime. You say that when I touched your arm I reacted, well- not me- I mean it was- but not really.  
And that I have given a piece of me to you ? Do you mean flesh or-"  
"Grace." "Grace ?" I repeated. "Yes, grace."  
"Huh." I nodded slightly, trying to comprehend everything bit by bit. "But I'm not even a full angel. How could I possibly give a piece of my so called 'grace' to you ? Why would I even wanted to do that, back then you just full-on exorcised me."  
"How did you feel ?"  
"Fine, after that whole Latin text you were serenading to me." Sam was getting slightly frustrated with my stubbornness. "No Lucy, I'm sick of that word. How did you feel ?" The tune of his voice was way of, trembling.

In the distance I could hear numerous footstep, which meant other people were about to enter the room.  
I was safe, Castiel still looking out for me and now, Sam too.


End file.
